Perhaps it comes from years of working in the intensive care unit (ICU) where the worst of the emergency room (ER) lands. Or maybe I’m just a worry wart. The thing is, I’ve seen a lot of misfortune, misdiagnosis, and missed diagnosis. And more of the people who I loved most in the world are gone. So to me it seems a little natural to fear that I might experience loss again.
Honestly, I’ve always experienced a rush of fear when hearing sirens streaming in the direction of my loved ones. I used to come up with excuses to call the kids or Tom just to be reassured that all was well. I might ask what they wanted for dinner, or if there would be a trip to the gym before heading home. When fear overwhelms me, I must overcome it. It’s mostly been YaYa these past couple of years but now that BoBo is home again, I have him to worry about too. And let’s not forget about the Air Force or the plans to join the police force after that.
I’d be lying if I told you that it ended there. There is someone else whom I now worry about and subject to random calls or requests to text when they’ve landed safely at their destination.
I hope that I will not drive everyone crazy with my worry. Believe me, I’ve come a long way in this. I have. And when the shoe is on the other foot, so-to-speak, I am happy to accept the random call or send the text. It actually feels kind of nice to have someone worry about me for a change.
Hope all continues to go well! :)
And I’m the same way-a total worrier…
I’ve always felt alone in this as it used to annoy Tom when he caught on to why I was calling him. He said that I would just know if he or the kids weren’t okay. Look where that got me.
Anyway, I was talking with a friend last night and she admitted having done the same thing. Her reasons were slightly different though. It goes to show you how our life experience shapes us.
Practice being at peace and focusing on the things over which you have control. Everything else will be as it was meant to be :-) Rather Zen like, no?
My husband and I have a rule (which I admit to instating) that says we drop each other a text or email when we arrive at work. I don’t know whether there was something specific that triggered it, but somehow, I’m just terrified he won’t make it there safely (he does bike commute, so there’s some reason for my concern)