another year gone by

It’s hard to believe that it’s already time for my year-in-review post. This year (2012) came and went in a blink of an eye. I’m honestly not ready to wrap it up; it seems like there is so much more left to be done. Thankfully, the world didn’t end. God willing, I’ll have 2013 and many more years to get ‘er done.

In the meantime, I can be thankful for 2012 and all that the year has afforded me…

You may or may not remember, I chose BALANCE as my little word of the year. Similar to 2011, I approached end the year wondering if there is another more appropriate word to summarize the year gone by. In many respects, my goal to find balance was achieved. But as I look back it is obvious that, often times, my finding balance was more of a way of self-preservation rather than the profound level of accomplishment that I once pictured. Since starting this little word of the year, 2010 was the year of heath, 2012 my year requiring much patience, and 2012 with it’s quest for balance also required much persistence and inner strength from me. It was a balance of good and challenging.

January: Shortly after the start of the year, I sought out information on my back discomfort and was reminded of a scoliosis which, although diagnosed at age 13, was soon forgotten. Although I had intended to build on this knowledge and find ways to limit putting undue stress on my back, at the end of the year, I’m not sure that I accomplished this end.

The highlight of February was the discovery of a particular TED Talk featuring a man who did time-lapse photography. The video he spotlighted in his talk was on his recent Happiness Revealed project. It brought me to tears in February and again today as I revisit it.

March was a month of loss. I got past the 5 year anniversary of my husband’s passing only to lose my dad to a sudden heart attack in the final days of the month. Unfortunately, the news leaked out into the social network before sun rise and phone calls could be made. You know I didn’t do it.

By April, my yoga practice had transformed following my commitment to practice daily for 108 days. In many respects, this was truly a balancing point for my learning how to keep the yin and yang evened out. I utilized meditation and carefully planned out class selections to keep my body happy — much like a marathoner alternates hard and easy days to keep peace in the body and mind.

With May came Simba, my overly energetic canine from Georgia. This was a test of will and tolerance. With him staying for the entire summer, it was a battle of wills which I refused to lose.

In June, once again the alignment of both my spine, as well as my priorities, came back into my awareness. I set the wheels in motion for me to go on a yoga instructor training and retreat in Dharamsala, India.

The month of July took theMan and I into the backcountry for 5 glorious day in Kings Canyon. When it was all said and done, I reflected on the trip…and my life in general.

August brought a flood of emotions regarding my father and his passing earlier in the year.

And at the end of September, I was off on my Indian adventure learning about yoga, spirituality, and myself.

October: I returned from afar to jump right back into the rat race so to speak. With an adequate, but less than optimal amount of training, I toed the line for the Nike Women’s half marathon. Here, I brought some of my lessons learned in India off the mat and onto the streets of San Francisco. That little bit or racing left me reminesing about my marathoning days and, for a very short period of time, I dreamed of picking up the quest to BQ again. Then…my back’s ongoing squawking had me opting out of battling the fight to resume full on marathon training.

In November, I circled back to embracing life and simply enjoying being me — however imperfect I am. At the end of the day, year, and run, I’ve finally reached a point of understanding that inner strength (rather than muscle) is what allows one to teeter the edge and find balance.

With December came introspection, an attempt to shoo away my back pain by working the mind-body connection, and finally succumbing to western medicine.

It’s been a whirlwind of a year. One of pain, self-discovery, adventure, sadness, joy…and balance too. As another year goes by, I contemplate my little word for 2013…