When you toss a pebble into a still lake, you watch the ripple effect as it disrupts the peacefulness of the surrounding water. It is like that when two people decide to split up. Unlike the lake, the effects are lifelong for many other than just the couple.
The children are the obvious victims. Even in the best of situations, the tug-o-war for visitation will cause tension for-EVER. Christmas Eve with Mom, Christmas night with Dad, and trying to do your own family thing at home. If, like in my family, your spouse has a child from their prior marriage, you will be trying to coordinate it all with their visits as well. Maybe Dad gets pushed off until the day after; maybe Mom gets moved instead. No matter how you juggle it, it may always seem like your are disappointing someone. In all likelihood, you are doing just fine. Chances are, they are feeling much the same about disappointing you.
Look back at the ripple effect: Instead of looking at the ripples as causing a disruption, consider how the change might be good. Now look at you and how your interaction (a simple text message, phone call, or visit) changes someone’s world just a little bit. It’s not that you could’ve done more; it’s that you did something. I mean, let’s face it, it’s the little things people do that mean so much.