I left work early today to attend my "group" session. I cried all the way home as I thought of the past couple of weeks. It has not been easy for me. In fact, the emotional drain has been equal to watching my husband dying. It feels like I am doing it all over again, only this time I am watching my son’s life slip away from him.
My head hurts, and my eyes burn from crying. My son tells me that he wants to quit baseball because he doesn’t enjoy it anymore. He adds that he doesn’t anything anymore. I know exactly what he means. I feel the same way. I pray that his coach will talk him out of it. I pray that he will give it a bit longer…but I know that it won’t change his level of enjoyment. Nonetheless, I want him to do it.
When I called him from the home phone, an hour later, he asked why I was home. He’d forgotten that YaYa and I had "group" today. I told him that I didn’t like my job…so I quit. There was silence on the line. If only it were that easy – I’d just sleep away the days until this nightmare was over. I told him that I was joking. He told me that he loved me.