Emotions ran high (again) as I mindlessly walked past video after video. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for. Whatever it was, I was just hoping that it would jump out at me.
After a third time through, I just picked one up and asked YaYa to do the same. Moments later, we were paying for the videos, along with numerous late fees for videos that I never rented (although I vaguely remember being in the house).
It wasn’t until this morning that I was able to check out my pick. I had hoped for being uplifted by a movie titled A Good Year. I’d never heard of it but the picture of the couple and color scheme on the DVD jacket seemed serene.
The movie was interesting, yet far different from what I had imagined. The "good year" reference related to the wine rather than what was going on in this man’s life. It was romantic but more from the landscapes than the story itself.
Towards the end of the move, I watched the character Max Skinner as he admired the young woman, Fanny Chenal. I could not believe how much he reminded me of my husband, Tom. Then I imagined that it was Tom and me (instead of Max and Fanny) flirting, smiling, kissing, and happy.
I think, where grieving is concerned, this would be categorized as "yearning." Perhaps I am making an art of it or, more likely, an obsession. Regardless, it was nice to feel my heart beating again.
Then the movie ended and my heart was ripped out of my chest once more.