Keeping Pace

Keeping Pace

Archives for January 2008

The courage to say NO

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Take it from me, raising a teenager is difficult work.  Add the death of a father, and it all gets pretty complex.

It only took me ten months to realize that I’ve been hurting my son, rather then helping him, by being focused too much on the loss.  In the process, I’ve stood by and watched his grades plummet and struggle with poor decision making. 

By the time that my heart ache had gotten so bad that I wondered if I was having subtle signs of a heart attack, I realized (finally) that it was time to generate some courage. 

It is easy to say the words "I love you," but it is really hard to show the love by saying "NO." 

 

Message received

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A relative of my extended family is always sending me chain letter/emails. Often they are religious in nature and very often I delete them before I even open them (thereby avoiding skirting the pressure to comply with the forwarding requirements). But, on a very challenging weekend, it was nice to know that someone was praying for me…and sending me the following message.

EPHESIANS 3:20
“The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'”

Best wishes

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It’s Saturday morning and I am enjoying the luxury of sleeping children, walked dogs, and nothing pending on my to-do list – at least that I can remember. I seized the moment as an opportunity to test out the newly acquired email addresses for my fellow “groupies.” I wished them a relaxed week with plenty of opportunities to take deep breaths, hug thier kids, and enjoy the little things in life that make smiles happen….like a little break from the rain.

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Who asked?

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I was pissed when I left my support group on Wednesday.  Pissed – Because the facilitator came on a little too strong with her comments on what I should do about BoBo.  She’s never even met him.

I am really fed up with the number of people who are willing to give their free advice on how I should be parenting and what I should be doing.  While I admit that I need to make some changes, I fear that any rash actions on my part may push BoBo in the opposite direction.  I also feel overwhelmed and paralyzed by the thought of adding more to my already full plate. 

What I need to do is take better care of ME.  I’m not suggesting that I sit on the couch eating bon-bons while my son gets lost in a cloud of smoke.  I’m just finally admitting that my body has been letting me know that I need to care for it better.

My throat has been sore since at least Christmas.  Sometimes the pain is mild.  Other times it hurts bad enough that I get up in the wee hours to drink a cup of hot tea.  I have been feeling like the weight of the world is upon me as well.  On my chest to be exact.  Perhaps it’s just stress, but I am too young to feel this way.  So, today saw the doctor and had many tests done.

If you want to help, put some skin in the game; don’t tell me what you think I should be doing or tell me how mad you are at BoBo for putting me through this.  Push aside your judgement and think for a moment what you might do if your Dad died when you were a teenager.  And don’t call someone else to tell them what they need to do for me either. 

 

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