I was pissed when I left my support group on Wednesday. Pissed – Because the facilitator came on a little too strong with her comments on what I should do about BoBo. She’s never even met him.
I am really fed up with the number of people who are willing to give their free advice on how I should be parenting and what I should be doing. While I admit that I need to make some changes, I fear that any rash actions on my part may push BoBo in the opposite direction. I also feel overwhelmed and paralyzed by the thought of adding more to my already full plate.
What I need to do is take better care of ME. I’m not suggesting that I sit on the couch eating bon-bons while my son gets lost in a cloud of smoke. I’m just finally admitting that my body has been letting me know that I need to care for it better.
My throat has been sore since at least Christmas. Sometimes the pain is mild. Other times it hurts bad enough that I get up in the wee hours to drink a cup of hot tea. I have been feeling like the weight of the world is upon me as well. On my chest to be exact. Perhaps it’s just stress, but I am too young to feel this way. So, today saw the doctor and had many tests done.
If you want to help, put some skin in the game; don’t tell me what you think I should be doing or tell me how mad you are at BoBo for putting me through this. Push aside your judgement and think for a moment what you might do if your Dad died when you were a teenager. And don’t call someone else to tell them what they need to do for me either.