Recently, when I suggested to YaYa that we go to church, he hemmed and hawed. “All they do is stand up, sit down, and say things that I don’t understand,” he complained. I completely understood what he meant as that was my experience growing up with the Catholic Church. I find that I am just as lost in the church these days as I ever was. It’s a comfortable “lost” but lost nonetheless.
Sadly, we have failed to give our children a strong base from which to grow their belief in God. In our resistance to passing on the “lost” feeling, we have set our children on a path with no tools for finding their way at all. I want to begin to change that in the coming year – for my children as well as for me.
Although, Catholicism is my background, it is Christianity that I want my kids to know. We have recently been trying on a new church. YaYa seems happy with his service geared specifically to children. I, myself, have enjoyed the teachings, but I have also found the experience quite an emotional one.
This new year symbolizes a new beginning for me. It is a chance to create the new life that I have been yearning for. I have been realizing that I have been waiting for it to happen to me rather than making steps to achieve it for myself. I now know that I must stop waiting and begin an active search.
The Bible has always daunted me. In the past, I have felt more confused from it than enlightened. Even so, I picked up a new one during my Christmas shopping and have decided to take it slow in my exploration. This morning, I found the following passage. It’s simplicity spoke to me.
1 Corinthians 13:13:4
Love
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
I so very much understand what you’re talking about. I also grew up Catholic, but it is so distant to me now. If/when I do attend mass it is familiar but I am soon reminded of why I feel so distant from it. I feel like it’s no longer relevant especially in light of current happening. Plus,there is a history of when the Catholic Church (in my family) has let us down, especially years afer being so dedicated. I’ve often talked about finding another church because we do want that Christianity part back.
I hope it works for you.
Happy New Year!
Peace and Love to you and yours in 2008.
I’m happy to know that I can read something of what is going through your head every single day – yes!
i’m a lifelong catholic too, so i can relate.
i’m glad you found a church you like. I finally did too, and I could KICK myself for not finding it earlier, when my kid could have benefited.
Here’s to 2008!
Great verse Juls! Happy New Year!
I’ve been a faithful lurker for some time now and I have been praying that at some point you can begin to look for some comfort and peace in His arms. As a life-long Catholic, I was re-born in my faith several years ago and have found that though I may not understand everything that we do all the time at Mass, I do appreciate to familiar feel. I find it very comforting. Yes, people within the Church have let me down, but the Church has never turned away from me.
I pray that 2008 brings you much happiness and peace, Juls. And to your sweet, loving boys as well. Even the new puppy! What a cutie!
yeah! that’s what I’ve been praying.
2008 will be a healing year for you.
happy new year, julie. i wanted you to know that although i don’t comment often, i read every post. may 2008 carry on continued growth as you and your boys continue to find your way forward through the grief.
The deep rooted tradition driven catholic church is tough even for us adults to understand. Doesn’t mean we are any closer or further away from God. I admire you for your decision to help your children on the path to understanding. Happy New Year, Juls. God bless you, YaYa, Connor, and the two hounds :-)
Happy New Year to you and your family Julie! May 2008 bring you much happiness and strength to deal with anything that comes along. You are doing the best you can. Miss you!
Dear Middle Sis,
I am glad you are searching for help there above and I too have struggled hard in that topic. Whatever church you choose I think that it is great you are “just doing it!” and I know for myself growing up and myself grown up having God or something more than myself and others to fall back on is a great gift that your boys will appreciate when you aren’t there to help them down the path of life….Whichever church helps the boys I would say is best for now. I love you! Big Sis
Here is to new beginnings. Happy new year to you and your boys.
I’m so glad you are trying it (church). I was not brought up with any kind of base/background & now my children haven’t either. When Branodn was Dx, I felt a need to go to church, for answers, which I didn’t find; I was really looking for blame. So I haven’t been since 2002 or 2003.
BUT in my unpacking this past week I found the Bible I bought (& tabbed each section) & the child Bible I had bought Brandon (also tabbed) & decided we’re going. & It its the Chritianity that I like.
I like how the kids are seperate & its interesting for them & the music is pretty good–almost liek a band –better for my teenager & not so much up & down, like in Catholic church–MY DH was raised Catholic, but hasn’t been in yrs.
This Sunday, I’ll be in chuch with at least my boys, probly not the hubby, but oh well. Have to start somewhere. Only thing is I’m not big on all the hugging people want to do. Any ideas on how to avoid that??? :o)
To Everyone: Thanks for your encouragement and thanks for lurking/reading/commenting. I have to admit that the Catholic Church offers a sense of comfort in its familiarity (songs, standing, sitting, Lord’s Prayer). For now, I want me kids to get more out of church it right now. So far, it has only been YaYa that has attended but I know that Conor would get a lot. He and I talked about the New Year and resolutions. I told him that I wanted to be more Godly in my actions and expose them to His love. I do think that we will occasionally return to the Catholic Church so it isn’t completely foreign to them. It’s were Tom and my roots are.