No matter how many times I listen to it, George Strait’s song “The Breath You Take” always makes my eyes well up. I sit here at my desk, listening to my music as I work — and it hits me (for the millionth time): Time simply does not heal the absence of a father in my sons’ lives. Thank God our lives have been blessed with a few amazing men who love and support us, offer the fatherly sort of advice I need, and are amazing role models the boys can look up to (or identify with). This is good, for try as I might, I simply cannot fill the gap left behind. I can only be the best mother I can — and hope that it is enough.
Archives for February 2012
Is it spring yet?
It’s Groundhog Day! Apparently, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow — meaning we will have 6 more weeks of Winter. Given the so-called Winter we’ve been having, I haven’t the slightest idea what that means. Will it finally rain? Or will we continue to have beautifully sunny weather?
Shadow or not, my plants refuse to believe that Spring hasn’t sprung. My rose bushes continued to produce flower after flower — making it impossible to time the Winter hack job. I finally caved and cut the back anyway. I don’t want a courtyard filled with scraggly, misshapen rose trees. Now do I? It’s been a while since I checked on my gardenias, but I’m hoping that they have survived my frequently-brown-nosed beast.
Inside, the house is a different story. I have no desire to slow down the emerging spring-like foliage. I have enjoyed watching my orchids grow new limbs and produce more and more buds. I water them, stroke their leaves and kiss the swollen buds with loving kindness.
And what do I get?
collide
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You’re barely waking
And I’m tangled up in you, yeah
I’m open, you’re closed
Where I follow, you’ll go
I worry I won’t see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find you and I collide
I’m quiet you know
You make a first impression
I’ve found I’m scared to know
I’m always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find you and I collide
Don’t stop here
I lost my place
I’m close behind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find you and I collide
You finally find you and I collide
You finally find you and I collide
— Howie Day, Collide