Keeping Pace

Keeping Pace

Archives for January 2012

a little assurance please

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When someone continually complains of a physical ailment, I’m the first to tell them to check it out. Then, I get annoyed when they don’t follow through.

But when it comes to my own ailment, namely the back pain I’ve complained of for many months now, it’s a different story. It’s my bike fit, yoga, running, the mattress, anything but medical. Yet, it continues..

The fact that, other than cycling, movement generally makes it feel better and sitting makes it unbearable does beg me to question the theory that its cause is my physical activities.

So here I sit in the waiting room at Kaiser, now at the point where I cannot stand to ignore it any longer — because IT HURTS! I want answers. I want complete assurance that it’s not any of the items listed on my list of horrible-things-it-could-not-possibly-be. Which of course it isn’t. I just need reassurance.

Please, stay tuned.

my quest for wintertime balance

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My quest to find balance has taken me to new levels. This season, with it’s daylight deficient and chill inducing tendencies, I have found comfort in the 90+ degree hot yoga classes. After spending my work days bundled up in jackets and scarves with the space heater working overtime to warm my body, I am driven to find a way to make it to an evening class. If I cannot, for some reason, hibernation in the warmth of my bed is the next best thing.

Now, I know you are thinking, “You live in California, where it has only just started to rain. How cold can it really be?” To this I say, it is too darn cold — for me.

Yoga currently is at the forefront of my athletic activities but indeed it is not the one and only activity. I am striving for balance, you know. I have set aside Saturdays for cycling, and am carving out 2-3 days per week for running. And it feels like the perfect balance — for wintertime.

we’re off to see the doctor

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Perhaps he’s not the most wonderful doctor of all, but Dr. F is pretty darn cool. I’ve known him since the days of bedside nursing when he was in his fellowship (I think), or residency. Anyway, I sent him an email after YaYa spiked a fever of 102.8 degrees fahrenheit and he told us to come on down.

just an off day

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We got creamed. 46:30… or worse. I stopped looking. YaYa went in late in the 1st half, made a few errors, and got pulled. Having not had the opportunity to see any other games this year, I had no idea if this bench worming was routine or not.

I tried not to show how disappointed I was that he wasn’t playing. Honestly, I could care less if other parents saw my disappointment. I just didn’t want YaYa to see it.

Please know, it’s not that I think my son is Mr Sports Star; it’s just that he puts so much effort into it.

YaYa on court

Well, YaYa didn’t step foot on the court until things were well past unrecoverable. He pushed hard and did his best. He even got a chance to shoot. And although his shot didn’t quite make it in, it did circle the rim.

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i do…love you

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For no apparent reason, this came to me today during meditation. To those who read more into things than is written, let me repeat: For NO apparent reason.

Our wedding vows were a far cry from your traditional sacramental promises to… Oh, who am I kidding? I haven’t the slightest clue what the rest of the world is promising to do.

All I know is that when Tom and I said “I do” we promised to love and honor each other as a whole being. Our promise was one of support. We would simply be there, supporting each other, until death. Because this promise was with the understanding that life continues well after the death of the body, our promise was for this lifetime only.

We would not restrain or restrict the other’s growth physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Our promise was to each other, no one else. Not the church, Not God, just each other. I guess this was the reason we did not invite the family or friends to witness the event. It was private.

Private — like the birth of our boys, and his death.

The family had come, two at a time, to mend ways and bid farewell to Tom in his body. As a spirit, this was just another step — one that, in those very vows we’d shared 15 short years prior, I’d promised to support. But it wasn’t easy.

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