where to draw the line

There’s nothing like inviting a few people over for dinner to bring out the inner-critic. Whether it is as little as two or a many as 15, I’ve always had a tough time with the whole entertaining thing. In preparing for my most recent entertaining attempt (a lasagna dinner for The Man and his family), I did my best to hold back the feelings of inadequacy. I had limited time to get the tables out, the dinner cooked, and the usual clutter picked up.

When my inner-critic began making it’s appearance, I posted the following question to FB: Why is it that we are our toughest critics? I hoped for a little more encouragement but it didn’t come. I suppose everyone was out shopping for Christmas presents. Christmas shopping will be my next encounter with my inner-critic. It always is. But that is a topic for another post.

Somehow, I managed to keep my inner-critic at bay long enough to cook up 3 large lasagnas, garlic bread, and some vegetables steamed in chicken broth. A meal as simple as this was all I could manage and I hoped that it would be enough for the folks that were included on the invite.

Meanwhile, the guilt for where I ended up drawing the line on the invites was, and still is, in full attack mode. There were so many others who I really would have liked to have included. I lost a lot of sleep over this. So much that I had to chase down my physician for a renewal of my Ambien prescription.

Well, I survived. I hope that everyone who wanted to be there but was not included will find forgiveness in my attempt to draw the line. I pushed myself a little by drawing it just outside my comfort level but not so far as to cause a breakdown.

The Man was pleasantly surprised and nobody went home hungry. And both me and my inner-critic passed out shortly after the last person left — without any medication.