I wrote a post earlier today, saved it for further edit, and then deleted when I finally sat back down at my computer. In effect, the earlier post said what I had intended to share with you, but the raw words seemed too harsh to work with. And so, I start again. Let’s see what happens this time…
It isn’t that I don’t feel like running. More accurately, I often don’t feel like going through the effort of making it happen. By this I mean to say that I don’t want to fight with YaYa about riding his bike along side of me, or trouble someone else to watch him. I also don’t feel like working later because I actually left my desk at lunchtime. It’s that sort of effort that I would rather, well, avoid.
This is very different from the old me. That ME “needed” to run. If I wasn’t able to run, I had trouble coping. I don’t know what the big deal was. I look back on the stressors of my past, and I am amazed to think how hard that was for me. It all seems so trivial now. The thing is, *that* ME is gone. Out of necessity, I have evolved into a being that has found other ways to cope with the stress that life lends. Since I no longer “need” to run, I often am not willing to inconvenience myself (or others) in order to make it happen.
But, as you can see by my sidebar, waiting for it to happen isn’t exactly working either. *sigh* I am getting out, and when I do I enjoy it. Okay, sometimes I find it hard physically but I still enjoy setting a goal and achieving it. Now, I would like for running experiences to be more often, farther, faster, AND easier. I’ll have to find a compromise between waiting for the stars to align and forcing it upon myself. There is a happy medium, and it is up to me to find it.
I’m not sure what race plans you have for the future, but sometimes, floating on the wind, is just awesome. Seize your oppotunities. Don’t regret the ones you let slip away. It will all fall into balance.
Welcome back, Juls :-)
I know what you mean. I don’t feel that way about running, but I do about a couple of other things – canoeing and camping. I love doing them, I hate the hassle of the prep and the clean up after, so I avoid them.
You have a new life now, different from the old, so it makes sense that your running would change with it. I like Wes’s comment – I too, think it will fall into place.
Keep working at it Juls, it will come to you. The desire to run ebbs and flows with life’s changes. Take care, Beverly