It’s been nearly a year since I have made it to one of the seasonal social gatherings. I swore that today would be different, yet there I was thinking that I’d prefer to nap instead of making the 60 minute drive. I fought the urge to skip the party, and soon Y and I were walking into the party together.
From the first set of hugs, my unease began building. I was ready to run for the door by the time Chris asked me how I was doing. I am NOT exaggerating. Chris was the first of many that would ask that question, but that wasn’t the worse.
When the questions about B began, my unease turned into a DISease-like feeling. I didn’t know how to respond except to shrug my shoulders and try to hold back the tears. As the crowd assembled for a group trip to the beach, I retreated to the computer room where Y was playing on a game website. After dinner, I informed Y that we were leaving.
I went out to thank Chris and Linda for their hospitality. "Oh no," Linda said, "you need to sit here a minute first." She opened up her arms and invited me to sit on her lap. I took her up on her invitation and cried a little and laughed a little too.
I decided to stay a bit longer to participate in getting a spiritual healing. That ended up being really cool as Y ended up taking an active role in the smudge healings. The party goers then gathered around to form a circle, where a few blessings were exchanged and the group gave thanks.
I am so happy that Linda urged me to stick it out. By the time I left, I was all filled up, with a lot more to hope AND reason to be thankful.