Today, being the first day of spring is one way of marking the passing of the first year since T’s death. Tomorrow, being the 21st marks the first full calendar year. I’ve been getting emails all week from friends, blog acquaintances, and family who are acutely aware of the timing. It is nice to know that so many people care for me/us (as many have never even met me).
While the spectators from the blog-o-sphere are aware of the date, those that we come in contact with on a daily basis are unaware. Today, I called Y’s school to inform the teacher of the 1-year anniversary. I wanted to let her know that Y has been troubled all week with an inability to do things such as write in a straight line, draw nicely, and basically focus. She needed to know this, as his final draft of his book faire project is now overdue.
Speaking of lack of performance; I’m worthless today. Okay, I’ll admit it; I’ve been worthless all week. My mind has constantly been straying off-task, and my motivation has been at an all-time low. Somehow, although I am not sure how, my work has been getting accomplished. I remain thankful that work has been slow.
It’s not that I feel bad. On the contrary, I feel pretty good considering everything that is come and gone recently. I am just tired, Oh SO Tired.
The act of “Springing Forward” has done nothing for the spring in my step. As I said before, Y also seems to be in a funk too. We climb into bed between 8:30 and 9:00 pm and then fight to get up by 7 am, when we should be up at 6:30 am.
If you add the fact that B’s calls from Hawaii arrive at about the same time as slumber hits my body, bringing me back into consciousness, the exhaustion makes a lot of sense. *sigh* It is good to hear from him, though. I wouldn’t miss it for all of the sleep in the world.
I love the sunshine and the feeling of endless leisure at the end of my day. It is something that I have always enjoyed about this time of year. The mornings are a different story. This is where my love for the time of year quickly turns to hate.
I have always needed the sun to wake me up in the morning. If the sun can sleep in, I should be able to as well. Tomorrow, I will be able to do just that. I have decided to take the day off to spend with Y. We will try to enjoy a day of rest and remembrance. Clearly, we both have need of it.