The kids crossing this tree, instead of on the main trail played a small part in us missing the trail camp. That, coupled with the fact that no where on the trail or in the camp does it actually say “Twin Redwoods.” We would later find out, after returning to this spot, that we would have plenty of time for “tree play,” myself included.
Big Sis sent a message of disappointment after her daughter’s backpacking trip with the girl scouts was cancelled. She was bummed as her last trip to the backcountry was way back when we were kids lucky enough to get financial assistance in order to attend a rather expensive backpacking camp for the rich and famous (slight exaggeration).
We were on welfare at the time, paying for our dairy products and peanut butter with food stamps and humility. And although our slurpee cups and toddler friendly plastic plates caught the attention of ALL as they made their way through the wash, amongst the sierra cups and other specialized camp-ware, we gratefully let the ridicule run off our backs just to be able to enjoy the experience.
Upon reading Big Sis’ message, I asked theMan if he thought I’d be ready to “take the lead” on a backpacking trip. His response was a wholehearted and absolute “YES!” I immediately reached out to Big Sis and, after confirming interest, went in search of securing trail camp reservations and the necessary wilderness permit. This was a bigger task than it seems as we had only ONE available weekend and very little lead time. But somehow, I managed to make arrangements for a small-scale backpacking adventure.
So lovely is the juxtaposing of this dead and decaying tree and the delicate wildflowers. Death and Life. Life and death.
Today, when i look at the GPS tracking of my latest adventure, I reflect on where I’ve been both on this trip, as well as in the past many years. It’s more than just the miles; it is the physical, emotional, and spiritual work that naturally transpires from one point to the next. Each marker, indicating where we set up camp at the day’s end, corresponded with an energy or emotion which I was working through that day. Likewise, the trip in itself is representative of one more segment, or leg, of my life’s journey.
When I think back to the me of yesteryear, I am surprised at how differently I view life. In some ways, and on some days, I am more the same as before but on most I am vastly different.
Of course losing your husband, then your job, and then having a cancer scare of your own has a way of putting hurdles in ones way. Hurdles that appear as walls on many an occasion. Nevertheless, even when I look at myself before all of this tragedy, I see a woman with little certainty and whose identity was so tied up in being a wife and mother that she was somewhat lost in situations out of those roles.
But I faked it well.
I am happy with who I have become and what I have created. Moreover, I am excited about who I am becoming. Yes, I’ve come a long way but there is so much more to this journey than what the GPS devices can track. I guess, maybe, that’s why I have this blog.
We hit this meadow on day one. I think my mouth fell open in awe of the beauty that is just waiting for you to finally arrive.
My first thought was this: They call it Paradise Valley for a reason.