Well, I made it home from India safely, filled with gratitude for all the many blessings in my life. Family and friends, clean water, hot showers, and all the comforts of home which I previously took for granted.
India was rich in stimuli that words cannot fully describe. I have photos. Many, many photos. But even these, I am afraid, do not do it justice. The sights, smells, sounds, taste, and feel of India are indescribable.
This morning, I found my way to my mat, the yoga studio, and prepared to find my practice once again. Oddly, to me at least, I found the entire experience out of reach. From the first post (Child’s Pose), the room started spinning like a carnival ride that one cannot escape. I tried to flow but became brutally nauseous and had to leave to the room to hug the toilet for a bit. But it did no good.
I returned to my mat and sat on a block to meditate. Class went on but I just sat — trying to find stillness. While dead bodies floated past in the river of my mind and, on shore, others burned ceremoniously, I fought to release the sadness which was reawakened during this trip. Resistance ensued.
In time, I am sure, I will find my equilibrium once again and let go of a little more of the energies linked to my relationship with death. And then, I believe, I will be a bit more free to experience a bit more steadiness, and less of this whirling feeling. Yes, I’m finding equilibrium in life on this ever spinning earth which I call home. It’s good.