Traditionally, this is the time of year where feelings of loss ebb and flow. With each passing year, the intensity changes and takes on a different shade of gray. I suppose it’s my job to let the variations go in and out like waves on the beach. As long as they don’t get hung up, the healing comes. And you know, I’m all about the healing.
As for my grief work, this year has the interesting addition of my father’s death. I am faced with a odd array of feelings about a man, I am sorry to admit, I hardly knew. It’s sad.
Yesterday, I sat in the stands as theMan’s son graduated from college. His parents came out for the special occasion as well. They are ever present in his life, calling often to check on him, interested in all that he does. It’s beautiful.
When you watch theMan and his father, the bond is so easily seen. There is kindness and a genuine respect for each other. The pride each one has for the other is evident. I wish I’d that with my dad. Similarly, watching the father-son interactions of theMan and his son conveys the same. I realize, once again, how much my sons are missing out on.
The sadness ebbs and and the flow. Like the waves, I let them come and wait for them to go.