In the early morning light, it is quiet and peaceful. The sun slowly emerges, the birds begin to sing, and Señor Yappy starts up his barking. I sip my coffee, take in the view out my window, and smile.
Archives for March 2012
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so much for remembrance
The day off was scheduled with good intentions for a little time of remembrance. First, I would help out at YaYa’s school who was having their 7th grade medieval day, and then we would maybe head down the coast to visit the spot where Tom’s ashes were scattered. Believe it or not, I haven’t been there since we set them out to sea — 5 years ago.
But that didn’t happen. Although I did follow through with my commitment to YaYa’s school, the rest of the day was spend at the doctor’s office or in bed. The only bit of remembrance was lighting a candle in the church between the medieval parade and the royal lunch. On one level, I felt a little sad about it – like I’d somehow failed to keep his memory alive.
On the other hand, perhaps he would have wanted it this way. He was never much for making a big deal of things. So…I guess it’s okay.
CPT, TLC, and SLEEP
Memories of the newborn stage have made their way into my awareness. You remember the stage. Right? The days of sleeping when they sleep — or risk forgoing any sleep at all.
Back then, however, sleep was met with silence. In the here and now, YaYa’s sleeping is met with coughing and whimpering. YaYa does the coughing (CONSTANTLY), while I do the whimpering. Every night this past week, I stumble down the hall at night to find my baby is burning up with fever and, quite possibly, it is too early for a dose of acetaminophen or ibuprofen. We are BOTH worn out.
It’s been 7 exhausting days of this and things are getting worse as the days go by. At 2 am, YaYa’s temperature was 103.4 degrees fahrenheit. I gave him a dose of ibuprofen, some cough medicine, and sent an email to his doctor. The waiting is over; it’s x-ray time!
because i knew you
I’ve heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true
But I know I’m who I am today
Because I knew you
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
—For Good, Wicked