The season of lent is upon us. This year’s event will take me through to year 3 of widowhood. My view changes daily but currently I see how blessed I am to have life, love, and a roof over my head. I have much to be thankful for.
Although I have not lived the most spiritual and pure life, I do believe that I have been striving towards that general direction. Perhaps I don’t take away everything that our priests have given out in their weekly message, but I do take away something. And I’ve done well to take that little something and make it meaningful for me and those around me. It’s a step.
This week, a co-worker gave us a big scare. I was at her side, checking her pulse, holding her hand, and trying to keep her from giving up as we waited for the paramedics to arrive. I was out the door the moment they arrived — like the well trained nurse that I am. They need space you know. With the image of her face-turned-gaunt, I could only see Tom’s face in the final days of his life. I retreated to my cubicle to cry.
I’ve been thinking about the act of living. In these past 3 years, there have been many times where I have felt a pull to just give up. I am thankful that I have not given in to the pull. Instead, I have reached out to others in utilizing the many ways that are at my disposal.
Believe it or not, FB and Twitter have been one way of reaching out for support. Originally, I set up a FB page for my groupies to stay in touch after they moved out of state and to discuss the issues that come up on our grief journeys. Unfortunately, my fellow groupies aren’t as internet savvy as I’d hoped. But I was able to reconnect with many people who are and it’s been great to keep in contact.
In spite of all that is good about FB and Twitter, they are also time-sucking. During this coming season of lent, time is something that I need more of. For one thing, YaYa is preparing for the sacraments of initiation and I am anticipating a lot of activities around that. Of course there is work, and then there is that event I’m supposed to do. What was it called? Ah, yes, the Big Sur Marathon. Well, with any luck, I’ll be able to resume training for that too.
Anyway, with all of this plus more, I am in need of time: LOTS more time. In an effort to open up time to focus on other aspects of my life, I am giving up FB and Twitter from Wednesday, February 17th through Saturday, April 3rd. I will continue to blog.