Archives for January 5, 2009

After BoBo left, the house felt empty and a bitter cold seeped in from outside each night creating an inescapable loneliness.  Is it any wonder that YaYa would be sad at BoBo’s return to Hawaii?  He cried on two occasions and the last three nights was unable to get to sleep without me by his side.  He says he feels like an “only child” and that doesn’t feel good to him.  He is sad which, naturally, makes me a little sad too.  I did my best to comfort him and not dwell on the reason that need to.

 

Saturday night, I discovered the last fire log had been used (although the box was left empty on the shelf in the garage).  It felt like someone had played a dirty trick on me.  But I refused to go to the store to buy a log so that I could read my book by the fire as I had planned.  Likewise, my plan to open a bottle of wine seemed pointless as well. 

 

Then last night, shortly after ending my call with L, I found myself riffling through my drawers for a tiny bottle of Bailey’s Irish Cream that I’d hidden over a year ago.  I mixed it with coffee and downed it prior to lying down with YaYa.  I tried not to make a big deal as to why I felt the need to do this.  Admittedly, I have held a lot of resentment regarding Tom’s inability to deal with his emotions without reaching for a drink or two.  Not only do I not want to go there, I refuse to be with anyone who has a tendency towards this.  

 

After YaYa feel asleep, I retreated to my own bed.  I entered a few thoughts into my journal and finished off another chapter of Twilight before closing my eyes.  I slept like a baby.

 

Morning hit soon after, or so it seemed.  The return to my normal routine, which I was a dreading, was comforting in that I felt like my day had a purpose.  What a nice discovery?  Even YaYa seemed to be looking forward to his return to school.  He woke up far easier than the vacation days and was dressed and ready to go in a snap.  He smiled as he headed off to class.  Perhaps the return to the normal routine will be good for both of us.