The day was especially emotional. Although it would seem that I am doing well, I could not help but feel overwhelmed with everything that I’ve been doing. Even the successes overwhelm me.
Busy, busy, busy was my week. New therapy appointments, school meetings, scheduling therapy appointments, coordinating a few repairs, and work. It wasn’t over by the time 5 pm hit.
YaYa and I had an appointment to allow him to attend a bereavement camp in May. It was pleasant but felt long and tiring. Since it was so far away from home, I felt even more out of touch with BoBo. The effect was crippling.
I have felt unsettled all night long. I don’t know how to describe it except to say that it feels like my heart is IN my throat – like I am trying to swallow it but it is stuck.
Now that my ECG and echo have come back within the norm, I suppose I can chalk this feeling up to anxiety. It’s just so unsettling.
Although I have seen that my son is okay, I still cannot shake the feeling. I don’t know how I will survive 2008. I could have done without the extra day that leap year dishes out.
Sometime busy is good, the day passes faster. As far as how you will survive 2008…well, I guess the same way I make it through an ultra, one step at a time and don’t think about what you have in front or behind you.
You’ve already survived 1/6 of 2008. You’ll survive the other 5/6 the way Jack described – and in the wonderful way of women everywhere – by giving and giving and giving your all. It’ll be the toughest endurance run you’ll face, but I am confident that you will make it.
Stress has a way of mimicking a lot of other ailments, so it’s good you got the ol’ ticker checked out and now can relax a little. Well, if relaxing is possible with your schedule.