I hate when I try to do something nice and it just blows up my face. I hate it…HATE it. I am angry again, sad, lonely, and frustrated. And my head is about to explode.
I know this feeling will soon pass, but I have my moments. I was just in my car and thought that if I’d just get in a really bad accident, it would all be over. There would be no more pain…for me anyway.
Then, I think of my boys.
hang in there Julie, one breath, one moment at a time, and nothing more. you can do this.
Hang in there Juls!
Keep those boys in your thoughts all the time. They need you.
You are not a quiter.
I’ve had similar thoughts, and been able to abandon them the same way: stay focused on the people who need you most.
In the end, everything will be all right. And if it’s not all right, it’s not the end.
Hang in there, darlin’. :hugs:
Can’t wait to see you sis…
Don’t worry. I’m just as okay as I was before. This was just an honest post about a bad cluster of moments. I just needed to get it out.
Bummer… the phrase ‘no good deed goes unpunished’ springs to mind. Hope it’s all straighted out now.
Holy crap, your brother looks so much like you. Please tell him we coulda done without the bathing suit visual :-)
Email me if you want to talk. :>)
Juls,
I know what you mean about doing something nice and having it backfire. That is always a bummer. It was so much fun meeting you this weekend – wish we would have had more time to share. One of these days, we’ll do it again!
My Gramma used to tell me,
“and this to shall pass”.
Sometimes it helps
when I was in a VERY abusive realtionship I use to sing all the time (in my head mostly) “o-oh-oh Child”
‘Ooh-oo child, things are gonna get easier
Ooh-oo child, things’ll get brighter
Ooh-oo child, things are gonna get easier
Ooh-oo child, things’ll be brighter
Some day, yeah
We’ll put it together and we’ll get it all done
Some day
When your head is much lighter
Some day, yeah
We’ll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun
Some day
When the world is much brighter
Some day, yeah
Right now
You just wait and see how things are gonna be
Right now…’
Its been 15 yrs & I can still sing every word. I know the difference is I could remove myself from the situation; but honestly for all of you, it will & has gotten better~~even if just for moments. more will come.
I think & pray for all of you often~~so does my son~~he ask’s about you, although he doesn’t want to read you (I offered ur link) he said no he jsut wanted to make sure you were all OK. [He’s 15 & pretty self-absorbed (lol) so when he asks, I feel like a decent mom~~he thinks about others (occasionally, anyway) :o) ]
I know what you mean. It is always easier to remind ourselves that those bad moments pass AFTER they already have.