I asked for your comments, didn’t I?
*Sigh*
Now, that I have them, I kind of wish that I didn’t even ask.
I realize that it is too soon to be considering my next race, but it also gives me hope.
I *need* to have hope.
by Juls
I asked for your comments, didn’t I?
*Sigh*
Now, that I have them, I kind of wish that I didn’t even ask.
I realize that it is too soon to be considering my next race, but it also gives me hope.
I *need* to have hope.
by Juls
YaYa is sick. I home from work this morning, and we’re sitting here watching Friday Night Lights. In the movie, the star player hurts his knee (torn ACL). He takes 3 weeks off and then the repeat MRI doesn’t look any better. His doctor advises him to stay off the field for longer, but he doesn’t want anything to do with it. He lies to his coach about his MRI results. He returns to the field and then – bam – takes the hit that ruins any future of playing football ever again.
I won’t make that same mistake. But I am looking to the future for my next marathon. I am optimistic of a return to running. Don’t worry; I just said “optimistic.” I didn’t say that I am pony-tailing and suiting up – but I sure do miss it. I am simply looking at the race calendar.
by Juls
I know that some of you are anxious to know more about how the MRI. Boy, what an experience that was! I had heard about the load noises, but did not know that the tune changes throughout the procedure. I got the pleasure of hearing something similar to the “test of the emergency broadcast system” sound, the fire alarm here at my work, and a sound that was too much like a system error alarm. I only hoped that it was supposed to sound like that, and wasn’t an urgent alarm that the MRI was about to blow up.
From my experience as a nurse, I know that it does not take 3-5 days to get the radiology read. As the week progressed, I became anxious to obtain the results.
My efforts to obtain this information have been challenging. I am usually pretty good at working the Kaiser system, but the Podiatry Department has a different set of rules that I just couldn’t get around. In my frustrations, I began to question why I am so good at advocating for my children, and I can’t seem to be able to do this for myself. After 5 messages on the various voicemail numbers that I have for Podiatry, as well as speaking to the scheduling desk, I found out that my Podiatrist is in the Operating Room most of the time. I had to get creative in obtaining my MRI results.
Here they are:
Attention to the peroneal tendons, there is very minimal fluid identified, but no evidence of abnormal fluid signal or discontinuity of the peroneal tendons themselves. The anterior and posterior tendons about the ankle similarly without evidence of tear. The calcaneal tendon intact. There is T2 prolonging signal within the anterior aspect of the cuboid bone. This extends approximately 1-1.5 cm. No abnormal soft tissue mass is seen. Ankle mortise is intact without osteochondral lesion. Minimal fluid within the ankle joint.
** IMPRESSION **:
1. Minimal fluid within the peroneal tendon sheaths, _________ associated with tendinitis. There is no definite evidence of tendinous discontinuity or tear.
2. Edema/contusion within the cuboid bone.
When I read the results, I was a bit at a loss for what it could be. I was also relieved that I did not see the word fracture any where in the text. I semi-celebrated and send an email back to say, “So, NO fracture?” just to be sure that I wasn’t missing anything.
by Juls
I haven’t been doing much lately. It has been a conscious decision to slow down. Most of the day, I resisted the urge to be on my feet. I lounged in bed or on the couch, read the blogs, checked my email accounts, and tried to relax. My efforts to relax did not work. I tried taking a hot shower in the middle of the day. This, also, didn’t help me to relax.
After picking BoBo up from the last of three football games (he stayed to watch the two games following his), I announced that I was injured. I felt my kids needed to be reminded. I stated that the house needed to be cleaned and that I could no longer do it alone. I stated that it wasn’t even clean enough to bring in a cleaning service to do it for us.
So I began assigning duties. These duties were previously their chores but somehow they got out of actually doing them so they haven’t been benefiting from allowance. Today, they would do these chores and more.
BoBo began with sweeping the floors and cleaning the bathroom mirrors and sliding glass doors. YaYa emptied the waste baskets and cleaned the toilets. I know cleaning toilets sounds harsh, but he actually likes this job and I am happy to give it up (even if I have to go behind him and finish up). They both carried their clothing and shoes from the family areas to their rooms and then they cleaned their rooms.
I began with the kitchen and bathroom counters, and the scouring the kitchen and bathroom sinks. I vacuumed the downstairs and sent BoBo upstairs with the vacuum later on. I mopped the kitchen floor, and had YaYa mop the dining room.
Our house is now presentable and I can finally relax. We all can.
by Juls
I couldn’t sleep. I was worried about carpooling, of all things. What if my podiatrist called and wanted to see me immediately and I wouldn’t have a car? I *knew* that this was no reason to skip the luxury of taking the express ride to work. She wasn’t going to be calling today. I yet, it kept me awake.
I finally got out of bed at around 5 am. I took a nice long, hot shower, and sulked. I am on an emotional roller coaster full of ups and downs.
My neck was bare for the first time since Nike. I have worn my finisher necklace ever since race day. I had only removed it for my MRI last night. By this time, only my wedding ring was back on. As the hot water ran down my back, I thought about that decision to walk Nike. I thought about how I had run, and how it had hurt and I kept on running. I *had* written that I had no regrets, but now I do and there is no going back. I walked and ran sure that I didn’t have a fracture – the podiatrist and the physical therapist had convinced me of that. But, now I am certain that they were wrong. In a few days, I will the results to prove it. It’s not that I *want* this; it all just seems to be adding up to that.
I got out of the shower and curled up in Tom’s arms and cried. When I mentioned my thoughts on Nike, he just held me tighter. There was no need to agree with me, and no need to disagree. He didn’t say a thing. I love him; he has been so supportive in my running AND now in my immobility.
My neck is still bare. I will wear my finisher necklace again, but just not right now.