Keeping Pace

Keeping Pace

In with the New (HNY)

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A year ago, I wrote about how 2020 was not a year that needed a my year-in-review post. Twenty twenty-one was no different. I mean, the year was slightly different, but the year as a whole is not one in need of highlighting. Seriously, the fact that I have written less than a handful of posts should be telling enough.

You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It’s a goldfish. You know why? It’s got a 10-second memory.” – Ted Lasso

Now, let’s all be a goldfish and forget 2020 and 2021. [Read more…]

habits

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Habits or rituals can be good or they can be bad. Taking form via triggers we are either consciously, or unconsciously, aware of, these habits become part of our daily routine.

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” -Jim Ryun

When I think back to when marathon running was a huge part of my world, I remember who critical it was to carve out time for my training. If the only time I could get my runs in was in the morning, the night before, I would set out everything I needed for my run (clothes, hydration pack stocked with nutrition, blister-proofing aides, etc.) as well as anything I might need to insure I could transition to my next time commitment be it work, one of my sons’ sporting events, or an appointment. This setting up for the day ahead was a habit that was ingrained in me and, although I not longer run regularly, the habit has carried forward into my morning yoga routine.

Thanks to 21CM’s introduction to bullet journaling, I have been using a BUJO to keep my days, weeks, months, and year aligned with my goals since 2019. For years I struggled with having to check the numerous places my appointments/meetings, to-do lists, etc. were documented (phone, outlook, notebooks, etc).  While initially, it felt a bit like I was going back to the Franklin-Covey planner days, I enjoyed the ability to make my BUJO whatever was needed to keep me organized and motivated through the year. An added bonus was the soothing (almost meditative) feels that came from filling the pages in a creative and motivating way. I also like to find a quote to add to my weekly spreads. Keeping a BUJO is both a habit and a way of reinforcing the other habits I am working to maintain.

Why am I bringing this up?

Lately, I have noticed that I have developed a lot of bad habits. I find myself eating dinner in front of the TV and, as a result, am no longer in tune with my hunger and satiation levels. I eat things that I would never have let myself eat back in 2018 (when I switched to a low carb diet) and tell myself that I don’t care. Truth: I care a whole effing lot! It’s well-past time to make a change.

My oldest son, Conor (aka “BoBo”) has created a podcast called Door to Door to the Top Floor. This podcast covers a variety of topics from entrepreneurship to meditation. This week, he talked about habits and invited listeners to join him on a 30-day Four Positives Challenge. After listening to his podcast, I created a long list of possible “positives” to direct new habits. Of these, I chose
4 new “positive” nutrition routines that I will include in the #fourpositiveschallenge.

  1. Drink >2L of water daily
  2. Limit coffee to 1 cup per day
  3. No TV, social media, or other distractions while eating dinner
  4. Limit take out to 3 times per week

There are many other habits that I want to (re)establish in the coming weeks and months but I am choosing to focus on plans to change up how I fuel my body here.

What habits do you want to break or create? Please share in the comments.

Life (and death) Happens

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You may remember that I had a hummingbird nesting on my backyard deck. I was thrilled to see two tiny hummingbirds emerge within the nest. Momma sat warming her babies diligently for many days, leaving for short periods of time to collect nourishment for her and her babies.

Then one day, I noticed the babies were growing strong enough to lift their beaks into view. I watched as momma came with food for them. The stronger bird always seemed to get the sustenance while the other one waited patiently. I prayed that I just wasn’t around to see when momma fed her other little birdie. I am sure that she did indeed feed both of them.

But as the days passed, I only saw one head emerging. On March 21st, the anniversary of my husband’s passing, I peaked in with my selfie stick and confirmed that only one of the babies was visible in the nest. I assumed that the other had not survived; it was no where to be seen. On top of that, it seemed that momma was distancing herself from the nest. Overwhelmed with sadness, I worried that the other would not survive. But I didn’t want to touch the nest for fear that she would completely abandon her remaining baby. I cried and prayed a lot that day.

I shouldn’t have been surprised to find that I couldn’t help but experience my own grief as I eyed the nest from a distance. I’ve never lost a child but my experience of losing my husband tells me that losing a child has got to be FAR more profound emotionally than what I went through years ago. But there is no forgetting the intense feeling of not wanting to get out from under my covers in those initial days, weeks, and even months. I did so because I had to. My sons needed me to help them and to show them that we could be okay. So I did what I could to create a new norm as we navigated the grief together.  It wasn’t easy.

As I reflected on those earlier days of grieving, I prayed that momma hummingbird could find that same strength that I did. And I prayed even more when the sun seemed to retreat and the nights got cold over the days that followed.

Please, baby hummingbird, hang on. Your momma is coming back. I know she is. 

Thankfully, the remaining baby held on and waited for momma’s return. Momma didn’t spend a lot of time at the nest but she was coming regularly and, it seemed, that her baby was getting what she needed to grow and generate enough heat to keep warm at night.

Little by little, momma and baby seemed to be finding their strength and building up the momentum to move on with life — as we all must do. Baby was quickly filling out and spilling out over the top of the tiny nest.

Then, one day I noticed that momma was coming by rather frequently with nourishment — and also just to check in (it seemed). I began wondering… [Read more…]

Spring for…

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It’s hard to believe that 13 days have passed since I dropped Kobe Bean off for his 2 week long puppy board & training session. This 2 week time frame fell during what has historically been my most emotionally vulnerable time of the year. Yet, I held it together and kept myself busy with random tasks like cleaning our cupboards and various other activities including embodying a paparazzo persona of nesting hummingbirds.

Tonight, however, my home feels very much like an empty nest. And while I am not looking forward to setting my clock 1 hour earlier (on Sunday), a part of me would be thrilled to spring forward an entire day just so I could have my puppy back home with me.

[Read more…]

The price of obedience

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I started Kobe in obedience training in mid-January. Since bringing him home, I’d been working with my young pup by accessing my prior dog training from memory. It wasn’t that he was behaving badly; it was that I’d been imagining more obedience skills than I knew how to make happen.

While I long to call myself a runner again, I also want a dog that will run by my side without issue. I mean, I don’t want to be correcting and tugging back on the leash every time we pass another dog. My young pup is >75 pounds of muscled mischief. He goes crazy with excitement anytime we come near another dog, and he uproots me from the ground I walk on with one excited lurch forward. While this may or may not lead to a few challenging hikes, it could be downright dangerous if we were out for a run.

So, we began one-on-one training sessions in a nearby park. We’d learn a few skills, then put them into practice during the following week. Our practice was in no way half-assed; we did the work. Yet, when we returned to the park for lessons, everything changed. Having other dog owners purposely walk their dogs toward you in the name of dog training (instead of doing the socially distanced passing from the other side of the street), completely changed the game. Young Kobe moved past these other dogs in a manner similar to his namesake in the final minutes of a championship game (no points earned in the process). Meanwhile, I was close to tears of frustration – wishing I’d started my these training efforts several months (and fewer pounds) earlier.

Instead of being told that he needed to go away to puppy boot camp, I asked for it. Not only would he get intensive training in the trainer’s home. He would also get a chance to socialize with a few dogs at a time under her watchful eye. We kept up our practice efforts during the few weeks before a slot opened up and he seemed to be coming around… minus a few incidents.

But in the days leading up to his departure, I started losing sleep. I began having bad dreams where my beautiful, now well-behaved puppy was stolen. The dream didn’t end there; it went on to show me just how deeply bonded I am to this dog. Last night I woke feeling the same emptiness, perhaps even more, that I’d been feeling before Kobe was born. I wondered if I’d been putting too much on him to make me happy. And I couldn’t get back to sleep for many hours.

In the morning, we had a few hours to spend together before I dropped him off where we have our training sessions. He happily hopped into her car and drove away. I was pleased that he seemed to adapt so easily. Now, it’s my turn to make the best of this time apart.

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