This time of year can be especially difficult for those who have experienced the death of some significant to them. Years ago, I was faced with a number of other peoples expectation that I would be “over it” after a year or two. I was grateful to have gone through grief support group and individual counseling. I learned that it is normal to continue feeling the loss throughout life. In regards to my children, I learned that they would go through a profound experience of the loss at each developmental stage of development. The best way for me to help them was to create/modify our holiday traditions while honoring their father.
The reality is that we don’t forget, move on, and have closure, but rather we honor, we remember, and incorporate our deceased loved ones into our lives in a new way.” Harriet Schiff, author of The Bereaved Parent.
If you know someone who has suffered a significant loss, give them the space to honor, remember, and incorporate. There are quite a few resources online for creating new holiday traditions after death. I am happy to share my experience if needed. Simply ask for help using the comments (your email address will go to me only).