I had suspected that YaYa was more than apprehensive about joining me on the Grand Canyon trip. Yet, even when I showed him the pictures that were sent to me from the REI adventure specialist, showing the cliff and drop off like terrain we were going to be faced with, he didn’t back out. On Sunday, however, I asked him again how he felt about the trip. He was silent. “Be honest.” I urged. “If you don’t want to go, I need to know.” This was when he shook his head and looked away. “I’m sorry he said.” I left the room to make lunch.
By the time I came back upstairs, 15-20 minutes had passed. He met me at the top of the stairs and said he was sorry again. Looking in his eyes, I could tell that he truly was. He said that he knew it was important to me but that he didn’t want to miss even a day of school, give up his weekend to long training hikes when he needed to get a better handle on homework, and just that he just didn’t want to do it that much. I admitted that I was disappointed but assured him that it was because I was hopeful that we could have this special memory (in his final years before heading off to college) to cherish forever. I said that I loved him very much and that I didn’t want him ever to doubt that. I told him that I although I get busy with work and yoga teacher training (studies and practice), that spending time with him is precious to me.
We hugged and cried and hugged and cried… then we ate lunch together appreciating moments like these which, although disappointing, show just home much love there is. We ate and then I headed off to hike by my lonesome with about 30 pounds of stuff packed on my back.
When I returned, he helped hoist my pack out of the car, joking that it was light as a feather. I told him that I might need him to hike with me sometime in case I got too tired and needed him to carry my pack for a while. And we laughed and hugged and laughed and hugged. These moments — are precious.