So lovely is the juxtaposing of this dead and decaying tree and the delicate wildflowers. Death and Life. Life and death.
Archives for July 2012
thank God for healing
I started reading a book, recommended by 21st Century Mom, about a woman’s travels along the PCT and through her undying grief which had pulled her down to rock bottom. I’m only as far as Chapter 3, but already have shed tears of recognition. In the two short chapters I have read, the ties of familiarity have been drawn between the author’s story and mine.
- Lung Cancer;
- a year of hope cut down to roughly a month of torturous decline;
- death tearing apart a family despite extreme efforts to hold it together;
- and healing.
Thank God for healing…
Hello Weekend
FINALLY, the weekend is here.
It’s been a long work week filled with a lingering fog from the post-backcountry return. Reintegration took much more time to take hold than expected. Thankfully, I finally feel like I’ve pulled my head out of the clouds — in spite of wanting desperately to return once more.
Now that the weekend is here, I find peace in not having to be seated in a chair, or car, for the entire day. My body wants to relax but it also wants to move.
This photo depicts the ease I feel in the weekend pace, regardless of how many events appear on the calendar. My your weekend be filled with ease too.
Moved to move
The other day, while playing the game of Google Reader Catch Up, I came up on a few posts from Anne on Run DMZ. The first to capture my attention talked a little about how some perceive their running as a selfish act and therefore it can be the first to go out the window when the demands of everyday life begin tugging at your conscious. My comment was something to the effect of how we can look at running as a way we take care of ourselves so that we are better equipped to take care of others. It’s much like putting the oxygen mask on yourself before placing it on your child – saving two lives instead of one.
I read a few more posts before landing on a post with an imbedded video. I clicked and was immediately captivated and inspired. I was moved…to lace up my shoes and RUN.
And although I did not have the sort of run that the video (or advertisement) shows, actually getting out on the trail again puts me that much closer to experiencing this sort of running again. Believe me, I miss it.
I’m sure you’ve noticed, there has been a shift since my B2BS experience and subsequent break from running. Although necessary, I never quite made it back. What running I have done this year, didn’t even get logged in my BTT running log – and I have entries as far back as May 2005. Although I now feel it healthier to not be such a slave to a training schedule and/or running log, I do need to get serious about logging the miles physically – regardless of whether or not they show up in my BTT sidebar. You see, there is this little race in October that I am registered to run.
Ho Hum, So Hum
In a seated meditation, we are guided into a contemplative “So Hum” state. I cannot help but draw parallels back to the forest. I can see myself, on day 1, hurrying past the trees like little Piglet chasing Pooh Bear. It took a bit of time to leave that frenzied state of go-go-go which so often weaves through my day in and day out like the thread that holds it all together. But do I really need to be in that crazed state to keep up with life in the Bay Area?
I think not.
“So,” I am…
“Hum,” THAT.
I wasn’t in the forest for very long before I arrived — in my body, and in the center of my head. And all became clear. I became one with nature and, over the week, nature became one with me. You could smell it, see it, feel it. Yes, I was in an unshowered, dirty state…and it was heaven. You could say that the essence of Juls was oozing from every one of my pores and I was at peace. I was So Hum.
Now, as I emerge from the forest, wash away the Eau de Juls from my body, I do all that I can to remember that I can be in this state anytime and anywhere. I don’t need to match the frenzied hustle and bustle of life to keep up.
It’s quite simple. Even Pooh, a Bear of Little Brain can explain it…
To know the Way,
We go the Way;
WE do the Way
The way we do
The things we do.
It’s all there in front of you,
But if you try too hard to see it,
You’ll only become Confused.
I am me,
And you are you,
As you can see;
The things that you can do,
You will find the Way,
And the Way will follow you.
— Pooh Bear, The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff
It’s another work day. I need to return home at lunch to get YaYa to his football camp. The stack of bills is awaiting my attention. “Ho Hum, So Hum.” My mantra for the day will get me through.
I am [So]… ALL that is [Hum].
Wish me luck. And, to you, I wish the same.