Near drowning

I suspect that I’m not the only one who experiences bouts of insecurity from time to time. Whether it’s insecurity in my ability to achieve a goal, or one of a more personal level of inadequacy, the waves sneak up on me for surprise attacks.

On most occasions, I can steady myself and ride it out. But on a few occasions, I get knocked down, pulled under, and left feeling helpless to save myself from drowning in it.

Recently, it was the sea of ordinary in which I was drowning in. Ordinary is fine – unless you have a strong NEED to feel the beauty instead. That was me.

As I’ve always done, I looked to external sources for validation. I wanted to hear the words but was not willing to ask for it. You’ve been there too. Right? Tell me you have.

The thing that was different this time was that I found my way out.

I reached for my life preserver and made a startling discovery. I found out that it was far more powerful for me to find beauty in myself without having it pointed out for me. That, my friends, was pretty cool.

I realize that the fact that I fell into the sea of insecurity and nearly drown isn’t good but how great is it that I figured out how to save myself? It shows that although I have room to grow, I sure have come a long way in these past few years.