There is a point in a blogger’s career when the blog ceases being a private journal where anything can be disclosed yet remains undiscovered. Suddenly, “Well, it *is* the Internet” has new meaning.
If you saw the movie Julie & Julia, you may remember how they portrayed Julie’s relationship with her blog, and her readers, over time. I loved the scene where she writes about her fight with her husband only to erase it (rather than publish it).
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve written purely for the therapeutic effect of writing itself. Sometimes I do this on paper [in a page in my journal (yes, I have one), an envelope, or napkin] and other times I do it on my blog platform. Then, some time later, I change it into something else — or destroy it all together. Create & Destroy: It’s part of the process.
For months now, I’ve carried a piece of paper in my wallet with a list of questions that I wrote down while listening to a song from the sound track of P.S. I Love You. Titled Kisses and Cake, the song and the list of questions, move me to tears each and every time…but I felt that I needed to be moved to tears from time to time. It was a way I kept myself in check…reminding myself NOT to chase a dream I could not seem to let go of.
Friday night, I reached a turning point…and I ripped the piece of paper into little pieces. In much the same way as writing this list of questions was therapy, so too was the act of tearing it up. These questions remain unanswered, however the answers are no longer important.
