I couldn’t help but smile today when I was preparing to head out for my scheduled run. With the newly defined training efforts, in place of set paces, I could easily opt for a hilly run knowing that I’d still be able to meet the game conditions. I realized before I took a step out the door that my pace might be the same, if not slower, than yesterday’s easy run. But I would keep my effort set to a level where I could only speak in small bursts. A run slightly more intense than yesterday was just what I needed to run off some pent up stress.
Things in my work life are causing a shift to occur that seems out of control. I don’t like it. Aside from the uncertainty of how the heck I can possibly make time for an additional 1 hour in commute time, I have been hearing rumors that my new position may not be in affinity with my having a life outside of work. On top of that, terms such as two-faced, and back stabbing have been used to describe the new boss. Although I prefer to make my own judgements, the rumors come from some well respected colleagues. Then, there is the boss herself, who has made a few eyebrow raising comments during her recent meetings with us.
It has all made me take a step back to reconsider my approach to the J-O-B. Similar to where my running has been, I have fallen into a level of passivity. The stay positive and just see what happens approach does not deliver BQs or promotions. My shift in running to a more deliberate focus, is also what I need in my career.
Initially, today’s run feels awkward. Once again, the air is warm and I feel a slight tingle in my arms as I make my way towards the hilly path. It is ever so slightly uphill — nothing compared to the hills ahead. I breath deep and tell myself to relax. I say this out loud of course. The tingling goes away, as it always does. I will soon forget about it completely.
Once again, I am to ignore Ms. Garminia. I am content just in knowing that she is a silent observer of my progress. She will report to me in full after the run is complete. I am glad for this. It is good to have someone to check in with.
Of course, I cannot think about after the run without thinking of the phone interview that will occur after today’s run. It is the first since 2007 and I am somewhat nervous. Okay, I am really nervous. It seems like I skipped the easy effort in my job hunt and went right to moderate. I feel unprepared for the questions that I anticipate coming my way. I wonder if I really have obtained the necessary skills to land a new job doing what I do. It has only been 2 years since I changed my career focus.
My mind cannot fret too much on the upcoming interview while in the midst of contending with the hills in today’s chosen path. “Focus,” I tell myself, “Pump those arms and attack that hill.” It is hot again, and I am tired. I can feel a bit of lingering soreness in my calves and I want so much to give up.
But, giving up has never been an option. I think about all that life has handed me in the past two years. Somehow, I managed to get through all of that and somehow, I will get through this too. I will NOT give up. I will focus and attack until I crest the last hill and enjoy the ride down the other side.
I know that life will put more obstacles in my way, but these are the ones I must overcome right now. Tomorrow is another day; perhaps I will back off and have an easy day, OR maybe I’ll pick up the tempo. But, I will keep right on going.
As for the interview, it is hard to remember much other than that my phone kept ringing during the call. When I listened to the messages left by the stranger’s voice, I discovered that YaYa had fallen on his bicycle and hurt himself pretty good. I would count my blessings that I was still working in the office closer to home — reinforcing that looking for work is exactly what the doctor ordered.
Well, that and a cast.