Generally, my days are not all that bad. I am happy that I am functioning in life, that I haven’t crawled into bed and refused to get up. It is true that my grief kicks in stronger at the end of the day, after the dinner has been cooked, the dishes are cleaned away, and the kids are enjoying the computer or television. This is the time of day where I feel the most loss. I don’t, however, wallow in my pain during every moment of every day. I have moments of hope for a future that is happy.
Running, I have heard, stimulates the release of endorphins. Termed the “Placebo Effect,” research shows that simply believing that a positive effect may happen stimulates a release of endorphins similar to those released in running. I get this idea and have decided that I will initiate my own placebo effect by instituting a new routine for the remainder of 2007.
Similar to the Running Chick‘s Thursday posting of “Three Beautiful Things,” I planned committing to posting a “positive” post at least once a week.
I had *planned* to post this on Friday’s. This post was essentially written then. I was in search of something “positive” that would go with it. But Friday came and went and I wasn’t feeling particularly “positive” about anything.