DD and I both agree that, sometimes, it’s easier to pretend that nothing happened. You can’t actually pretend that nothing happened; there is just no getting away from it. But when people come up to you (say, at a baseball game), and they have no idea what you’ve just been through, it is just easier to leave the dying part out.
“Hey, Julie. It’s so good to see you again. What have you been up to?”
“Oh, I don’t know.”
“Have you run any more marathons?”
“No. I got injured at the end of last year and had to take a few months off of running. These past few months, I’ve just been really busy.”
It’s not exactly lying, but it certainly isn’t telling the truth. Hopefully, when they find out from someone else, they will understand that it was easier to play it off than to tell the story again and risk crying at YaYa’s baseball game.
I’ve done it twice so far. I know those who know what I’ve been through must wonder if I am out of my mind. I am not. Going out of my mind is what I am aiming to prevent.
Back when my boys showed their dogs in 4H, I had 4H friends that we’d see through the summer 4H season, then not see in the winter, and then again the next season. One spring day at a 4H animal show, I ran into her (coincidentally, her name is Julie). Eric was with me and we cheerfully asked her how it was going. Tears started streaming down as she told us that just a month earlier her husband had died of a massive heart attack. We talked a while, we hugged and in the end, it was okay. I would have totally understood if she had not told us though – we were in the middle of kids and dogs and livestock, and it must have been so hard for her that day. We weren’t the only ones that were seasonal friends and she probably had to share the story many times. I think you have to make the call on a person by person basis. Some people you might feel the need to tell, others you don’t. As in everything right now, it is about you and how you feel. Trust yourself, and don’t worry about what others think – they have no idea what you are going through.
Back when my boys showed their dogs in 4H, I had 4H friends that we’d see through the summer 4H season, then not see in the winter, and then again the next season. One spring day at a 4H animal show, I ran into her (coincidentally, her name is Julie). Eric was with me and we cheerfully asked her how it was going. Tears started streaming down as she told us that just a month earlier her husband had died of a massive heart attack. We talked a while, we hugged and in the end, it was okay. I would have totally understood if she had not told us though – we were in the middle of kids and dogs and livestock, and it must have been so hard for her that day. We weren’t the only ones that were seasonal friends and she probably had to share the story many times. I think you have to make the call on a person by person basis. Some people you might feel the need to tell, others you don’t. As in everything right now, it is about you and how you feel. Trust yourself, and don’t worry about what others think – they have no idea what you are going through.