I woke up feeling well rested – as if I had gotten 8 hours of sleep. I looked at the clock. It brightly displayed 3:55 am. Through the floor, and in the through the heater vent, I could each breath that he took. With each moan, I felt it in my heart.
Down the stairs I went. More Morphine, Atropine, and Ativan. It just doesn’t seem to be enough. I pulled down the sidereal and lay with him a while. Then, when the pounding in my head was too overwhelming, I got up for a cup of coffee and some emails.
Thank you for your heart-felt comments. It will be soon, but soon is just not soon enough.
Julie, I’m so glad to hear that you and Tom have such a large network of friends to come and spend time with your family and help out in so many ways. I can’t imagine the pain and grief that your entire family is going through. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I pray that Tom finds peace soon.
Juls,
You make me think of a stong, tall tree. Roots run deep, battered by the storm, bending and swaying, but holding on.
Juls,
Don’t know what to say about all this except that thoughts and prayers will be coming your way…Stay Strong.
Oh Juls – I have been in your place although it was with my Mother. It’s really hard. I wish I could be there for you. I actually could if you’d like but I know you have a ton of friends and family around. Just say the word, though and I’ll be on my way.
Juls –
I don’t have much to say other than My thoughts and prayers are with you!
Julie,
I have been following your blog since mid-summer. I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through right now, and you are all in my prayers! Although I lost my sister a few years ago I can’t say that because of that I “know” what you’re going through. Nobody but you “knows” what you are truly going through, because nobody has the “exact same” relationship as you and Tom. (just as you can’t truly know how your boys feel right? You can imagine, but not you or anyone else can say that they “know” how they feel) I had people tell me how long it would take to get over it too. Everyone’s timetable for grieving is completely different. Take a year. Take a lifetime. Scream at the top of your lungs that it’s not fair (because it’s not!) But most important, cry as much and as often as you can, and if you’re too weak to hold yourself up from crying, ask for someone’s shoulder! Continued prayers coming your way Julie! GOD BLESS
Hugs
my prayers are also with you and your family. as are my condolences. and you don’t have to stay strong, you don’t have to do anything or be anything…except accept help when you need it.