Well, it was bound to happen; I wore myself out. The headache that I’d been feeling in the past few days, the headache that I thought was from crying, has now been coupled with an annoying dry cough and a low-grade fever. It makes perfect sense, the bad run, the feeling warm, and worn out. It’s time to slow down as much as I can. There will be no running, only resting.
I am fortunate to have DD here with me still. Although he tends to be a night owl, therefore waking up mid-day, his being here with us has allowed for some sense of normalcy to be maintained. He’s helped convert the family room into a place for Tom. He’s so wonderful.
Every little bit helps, and I am learning to ask for assistance. It is a hard thing to do. Nurses, even ex-nurses like myself, are great co-dependents. We feel the need to do it all. I’ve asked for some favors and hope that people will say no if my requests are burdensome in any way.
Our neighbor has agreed to take YaYa to school with her son. Since I am not working right now, this allows YaYa a couple of extra hours of sleep. I have also emailed to ask another baseball Mom (not the road-rage momma) if she could take YaYa to practice when she picks up her son at the school daycare. I guess she’ll get her email today when she gets to work. I hate putting it out there so much; the story is hard to tell over and over. But I think that it helps people to understand my absence.
Speaking of absence, I discovered that BoBo has a baseball game today. I asked him if he’d like DD or myself to be at the game (assuming that he could only have one of us attend). BoBo said that he didn’t know. I guess it was a little like putting him on the spot. Just after I had told the neighbor that I was looking forward to taking YaYa to swim lessons, as it would be a change in scenery, YaYa asked if DD could take him instead. “Okay”, I said.
It’s a strange place to be as I have always tried to do it all and be at all of the events. I’ll miss some things, but be available for others. In the past, I know that some people have often asked why I do so much of the tasks, leaving Tom to pick and choose what he’ll wants to attend. He was *always* working and I really was getting the better end of the deal. But, also, it was my choice.
Now, as my body screams for me to slow down, I have to let go a little more so that I can be there for the things that I am able to be at. I found my “good” prescription allergy meds and have restarted them (just in case), and I am drinking that airborne stuff. I’m hoping I can nip this in the bud before it fully kicks in.
I know that asking for help has been my achilles heel forever but I have found time and time again that people are really happy to help. It’s so hard to watch someone dealing with a really difficult situation and helping just feels better. Keep asking.
Maybe you can lie down near Tom and just sleep. I’m sure that would help.
Jules I know I am not family but as much as you allow it I am out here for you I got many people praying for you all. from local to washington.Tom made me feel like maybe I was good enough for this family ya know? I mean if you could love your irish man that much then maybe your brother could love his irish girl…on a note I would like to share your brother gave me a ring today not the ROCK but very pretty and I am so happy I dont know if its bad taste to share good news on the heels of all you are going through but this time we are sure and i wanted to tell you myself.I hurt for you and the boys and your brother is so wanting to see you and hold you not that he will say that but I have wiped his tears over all of this so just know you and Tom are loved!
Jess
P.s. Sorry about The Beep !!! I just wanted him to tell you and the family I said hello! :-)
My thoughts are with you. I have never been through truly difficult times like you describe. Rest your body, get healthy and then run again. Running will help your spirit stay strong and you will need that. Don’t run to race. Run for Joy.
Yep, get some rest Juls.Remember the ones that are there for you are there because they want to be. Don’t be afraid to ask for help no one will feel burdened. Take care.
Jules–I want you to know that you’re in my thoughts every day. Do call on people; accept the help when offered. Two years ago, we went through a very difficult time. Getting outside helped me. Whether it was a 3 mile run or a 1 mile walk. You have to allow yourself the time. there were days that I felt guilty, but I learned to get past it for my own mental well-being.
Tea
As a friend, and one of your blogaholics, I want to echo what others have said – please, please, please ask for help anytime, anywhere. If I can do something for you I WILL. If I can’t for whatever reason I’ll tell you so. You are going through a lot right now, and I (and others) just want to help you in any way possible. You, being the kind and generous person you are, have built up a HUGE reserve in the human bank account … it’s time to make some withdrawals. Call on us if you need us – we are willing.
Juls: I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through right now. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
I too am sorry to hear about the struggles you are having these days. Take time to rest and re-charge Juls. God bless.
Hey Jules:
I know there aren’t words to make your situation easier but please know that we are always thinking of you guys and praying. We love you all so much and it is really painful to know that you are all suffering. Know that we will always be here and we will always support you in whatever way you need, sometimes you’ll need to ask and somethimes we’ll figure it out.
Please let Tom know that he is very much in our thoughts and we are rooting him on in the back ground.
Love your little sister.