Well, it was bound to happen; I wore myself out. The headache that I’d been feeling in the past few days, the headache that I thought was from crying, has now been coupled with an annoying dry cough and a low-grade fever. It makes perfect sense, the bad run, the feeling warm, and worn out. It’s time to slow down as much as I can. There will be no running, only resting.
I am fortunate to have DD here with me still. Although he tends to be a night owl, therefore waking up mid-day, his being here with us has allowed for some sense of normalcy to be maintained. He’s helped convert the family room into a place for Tom. He’s so wonderful.
Every little bit helps, and I am learning to ask for assistance. It is a hard thing to do. Nurses, even ex-nurses like myself, are great co-dependents. We feel the need to do it all. I’ve asked for some favors and hope that people will say no if my requests are burdensome in any way.
Our neighbor has agreed to take YaYa to school with her son. Since I am not working right now, this allows YaYa a couple of extra hours of sleep. I have also emailed to ask another baseball Mom (not the road-rage momma) if she could take YaYa to practice when she picks up her son at the school daycare. I guess she’ll get her email today when she gets to work. I hate putting it out there so much; the story is hard to tell over and over. But I think that it helps people to understand my absence.
Speaking of absence, I discovered that BoBo has a baseball game today. I asked him if he’d like DD or myself to be at the game (assuming that he could only have one of us attend). BoBo said that he didn’t know. I guess it was a little like putting him on the spot. Just after I had told the neighbor that I was looking forward to taking YaYa to swim lessons, as it would be a change in scenery, YaYa asked if DD could take him instead. “Okay”, I said.
It’s a strange place to be as I have always tried to do it all and be at all of the events. I’ll miss some things, but be available for others. In the past, I know that some people have often asked why I do so much of the tasks, leaving Tom to pick and choose what he’ll wants to attend. He was *always* working and I really was getting the better end of the deal. But, also, it was my choice.
Now, as my body screams for me to slow down, I have to let go a little more so that I can be there for the things that I am able to be at. I found my “good” prescription allergy meds and have restarted them (just in case), and I am drinking that airborne stuff. I’m hoping I can nip this in the bud before it fully kicks in.