Blogging is a tool, any many ways, that I use to get the best and worst of my feelings vented. My regular readers are a different sort of friend who will let me complain and perhaps offer a few words of encouragement too. If you blog, you understand what I am talking about.
My siblings are not bloggers and, mostly, they don’t read my blog. But when I wasn’t calling everyone back, but rather was giving updates to a few central people and instructing them to pass it on, drastic measures were in order – I guess. It’s really hard to call everyone back. It is even harder to tell the story over and over, to answer the questions, and hear the advice. But everyone means well, and really just wants to help.
Carol did her best to give the update to my brother and sister, but she wasn’t sure that she understood everything correctly. My Mom, then, suggested that my siblings read my blog. My first thought, when I saw the emails on this suggestion the following day, was surprise. Did they really think that I would put it on the blog and not yet not tell them?!
Needless to say, they were hit with the bombshell produced by one of my emotional lows during this experience. Linda called to say that she was so sad that I was feeling so devastated and lost. At times, that is exactly how I feel. Other times, I just do what I need to do and am fairly okay.
I have to tell you all, that there will NOT be a full disclosure of my situation here on the blog; honestly I never have put it ALL out there for you to read. I will let you know just enough to understand the shift in my running, and writing. I can’t tell you how much of my experience will be poured out on the pages for all to read. I just don’t know.
I will tell you that my BQ is no longer the goal for this year. I may not even run a marathon this year. But I will keep running when I am able to. As you know, my running is what helps me release the feelings of dread. It also helps me to be thankful for what I have TODAY.