I ditched my plans to run before work again. It was another very chilly morning here, and my warmest running wear would be equivalent to a “shell” in the colder parts of the US. I decided that I would enjoy my run more if I waited until the temps were back in the high 40s/low 50s to venture outdoors to run.
As I de-iced my van window, I thought of those living in far colder places and wondered what it would be like to always have to deal with below freezing temperatures. If I always had to deal with these sorts of situations, I might be better at it. At a minimum, I my garage would have room to actually park the cars inside of it. But, I am NOT used to the cold. I don’t even own the necessary clothing, or tools (such as something other than a credit card to remove the ice from my window) that are available in other parts of the country.
It is looking more and more like I have become a fair-weather (friend) runner, only running when it is warm and sunny. It didn’t used to be this way. I believe the transformation occurred in my days of inactivity. I feel “less than” the dedicated runner that I used to be. It doesn’t stop with my being selective about the weather conditions either. I am more apathetic about the whole running thing. While I used to have to talk myself *out* of a run in the interest of healing, I now have to talk myself *into* the run. It’s a sad situation that won’t get me to Boston if the lack of commitment continues.
The air was cool outside and the sun was shining when I finally left my desk. It was already past noon. This meant that I would be pushing it to be back at work before the cafeteria closed. I brought myPod along for a little company. The music also helped to distract me from the numbness that I was feeling in my fingers as I was starting out. Other than my hands being cold, the weather was actually really nice for running.
On my run, I pondered what happened. It was only last week when I watched the clock for an acceptable time to leave my desk for my run. This week is a whole different story. I have been getting a little too comfortable – sitting on my new couches, flipping channels, and eating the loads of sweets that have arrived via Federal Express on my doorstep. I don’t get on the scale in the mornings, and Jenny Craig is a thing of the past. What will become of me if I continue this way? *BIG sigh*
I continued on my run. Running and thinking, but unable to pinpoint what “demolished” my running motivation. It really doesn’t matter “what” began this downward trend; what matters is whether or not I let it ruin everything that I have worked so hard for. Even if I never achieve my dream of qualifying and running the Boston marathon, I can’t let my health and happiness be destroyed like this. I must take charge again.