I couldn’t sleep. I was worried about carpooling, of all things. What if my podiatrist called and wanted to see me immediately and I wouldn’t have a car? I *knew* that this was no reason to skip the luxury of taking the express ride to work. She wasn’t going to be calling today. I yet, it kept me awake.
I finally got out of bed at around 5 am. I took a nice long, hot shower, and sulked. I am on an emotional roller coaster full of ups and downs.
My neck was bare for the first time since Nike. I have worn my finisher necklace ever since race day. I had only removed it for my MRI last night. By this time, only my wedding ring was back on. As the hot water ran down my back, I thought about that decision to walk Nike. I thought about how I had run, and how it had hurt and I kept on running. I *had* written that I had no regrets, but now I do and there is no going back. I walked and ran sure that I didn’t have a fracture – the podiatrist and the physical therapist had convinced me of that. But, now I am certain that they were wrong. In a few days, I will the results to prove it. It’s not that I *want* this; it all just seems to be adding up to that.
I got out of the shower and curled up in Tom’s arms and cried. When I mentioned my thoughts on Nike, he just held me tighter. There was no need to agree with me, and no need to disagree. He didn’t say a thing. I love him; he has been so supportive in my running AND now in my immobility.
My neck is still bare. I will wear my finisher necklace again, but just not right now.