I couldn’t sleep. I was worried about carpooling, of all things. What if my podiatrist called and wanted to see me immediately and I wouldn’t have a car? I *knew* that this was no reason to skip the luxury of taking the express ride to work. She wasn’t going to be calling today. I yet, it kept me awake.
I finally got out of bed at around 5 am. I took a nice long, hot shower, and sulked. I am on an emotional roller coaster full of ups and downs.
My neck was bare for the first time since Nike. I have worn my finisher necklace ever since race day. I had only removed it for my MRI last night. By this time, only my wedding ring was back on. As the hot water ran down my back, I thought about that decision to walk Nike. I thought about how I had run, and how it had hurt and I kept on running. I *had* written that I had no regrets, but now I do and there is no going back. I walked and ran sure that I didn’t have a fracture – the podiatrist and the physical therapist had convinced me of that. But, now I am certain that they were wrong. In a few days, I will the results to prove it. It’s not that I *want* this; it all just seems to be adding up to that.
I got out of the shower and curled up in Tom’s arms and cried. When I mentioned my thoughts on Nike, he just held me tighter. There was no need to agree with me, and no need to disagree. He didn’t say a thing. I love him; he has been so supportive in my running AND now in my immobility.
My neck is still bare. I will wear my finisher necklace again, but just not right now.
Oh no! You are making me cry.
All I can say is that your foot will heal. It will.
That is very sad. It’s interesting that Tom didn’t say anything because us guys tend to want to ‘fix’ things and dish out free advice (yes, a personal struggle for me). I admire his ability to ‘not say a word’.
I hope only the best for you Juls. Have hope.
You WILL get better; this injury is temporary. I know that’s cold comfort now, but you will be back on the trails. Just watch.