My relief that no fracture was seen on the x-ray was short lived. Worry set in as the pain continues, and the problem goes on unidentified. In the afternoon, I surfed the net since I couldn’t do my normal routine of running. I discovered some troubling possibilities of how bad off things could be. My imagination ran out of control and I fell into despair.
I was staring at the threat of not being able to run for some unknown period of time. What if I needed surgery? What if I was never able to run again? I crumbled. In this futile state, I wondered if I’d ever be able to run another marathon, let alone qualify for Boston. At that moment, just being able to run and finish a marathon had value.
At home, Tom reminded me of my meditation skills that I could use to push off this threat off. The vision of non-running-Julie was pushed out of my mind. I am determined that this is NOT what I am creating for my future. I refuse to give in. I am creating a positive future for myself. A positive future filled with the joy of running.