A little girl handed me a smiley face sticker this morning at YaYa’s daycare. She couldn’t have known what kind of night I had. Or could she. Kids are so intuitive. I wore the sticker on my jacket until I got to work and then I stuck it to the “Gone RUNNING” post-it that is on my computer. It reminds me to smile and be happy. As Tom said, in the years when we first began dating (DD was about YaYa’s age), “Keep your corners up.”
I’ve had a triple latte and am now drinking up my caffeine-free liquids. I’ll prepare my body for today’s run, but I don’t know if I’ll be ready for it by lunchtime. My stomach is still bothering me and I’ve already made a few trips to the bathroom. That triple latte, although good for my head, was probably not such a good idea where my stomach is involved. But the sadness has eased off for now. I think it is more difficult because, not only is the 1st anniversary, but I am also planning to spread my portion of the ashes this weekend.
Thanks everyone for your kind words on all of my stressors. As for the red ink, I think it is important to note that everyone takes away different things from what they read. It is evident in the comments from you all. Some people commented on my grieving, while others identified more with the schooling issues. The same was true for YaYa; he zoned in on different things than what was listed on the test. He’d probably have done better summarizing the story for his teacher.
YaYa is happy and still likes school, so I don’t want him to have the negative experience that I had in 3rd grade. Teachers make such a difference. My primary 3rd grade teacher was Mrs. Pearsall. I loved her. She encouraged me. But after she left to give birth to her little “kipper”, we had a new teacher who loved the red ink. She’d draw a frown on my paper but never offer extra help. I felt like I was drowning and daydreaming was a much better place to be. So I zoned out (just like last night).
We all can benefit from more smiley faces.