I’m trying. I swear I am trying…
to hold myself together,
physically,
mentally,
spiritually.
I’m trying. I swear I am trying…
to find my center,
equanimity,
core strength,
balance.
I’m trying.
But my efforts are not producing any sort of result.
I look to my teacher,
my boss,
my loved ones
for some sort of validation that my efforts matter…
if only in a very small way.
But they just question why I verbalize uncertainty.
I sob a bit,
feel sorry for myself a bit,
and even question if I should just give up completely. [Read more…]