I have a collection of corks — saved from nearly every bottle of wine opened in my home-sweet-home. They are collecting in the vases in my kitchen window. I also have a few bags full in the garage.
What I am going to do with them?
I have no idea.
My Sleeping Baby
I
am convinced that YaYa could sleep until tomorrow if I’d let him.
Okay…that may be an exaggeration but still. This boy loves his sleep.
Blah vs. Beautiful
I remember being called to the door to meet one of my mom’s suitors. It wasn’t long after the divorce and, therefore, none of the men who came to call on my mom would have been good enough. But this meeting, in particular, left me with bad feeling that stuck with me for many years. I was one of three girls — in the middle of the threesome, in the middle of those awkward years, and desperately in need of braces.
We were all called to the door at once to meet this man. He was introduced to Big Sis first. “Well Hello, Linda” he said, “My, you are a pretty young lady.” Lil Sis was introduced next. “Hi Carol” he said, bending down to shake her hand. “You are a real cutie.”
Then, he was introduced to me. He looked at me, smiled, and kindly said, “Hi Julie.”
That was it! No compliment. Nothing but, “hi.”
I remember running to my room murmuring to myself, “Linda is pretty. Carol is cute. Julie is…?” What was I? Was I ugly? Surely he wouldn’t say that if he wanted my mom to like him. I looked at myself in the mirror and examined the awkwardness of my overly miniature frame (late to develop and several inches shorter than my peers), my overbite, and wavy to the point of looking messy hair. I wasn’t ugly. But I wasn’t pretty either. Finally, I determined that I was “Blah.” I was glad that this stranger hadn’t found the words to describe me.
He’d been nice enough but still, I was glad we never saw him again.
That seed created an insecurity that stuck with me for more years than I care to admit. Like those bulbs which go dormant only to pop up randomly and flower, these feelings sometimes emerge unexpectantly. Thankfully, I have learned that being cute or pretty isn’t all that. Being full of beauty is where it’s at. And beauty is not on the outside; it is within.
A friend shared this blog post today. It served as is a nice reminder to embrace all that I have learned. The young girl is lucky to have such a wise mother to teach her this valuable lesson early on in her life.
anyone?
I know it’s been quite some time since I’ve last posted. Honestly, I’m not sure that anyone has noticed. My statcounter only seems to show the hits on my site which are clearly hits-of-mistaken-identity, lasting no more than a few seconds (just long enough to realize the errant ways of the internet browser and click away). There’s no one to blame but myself. I mean, it’s not like I’ve given you much in the way of running, photography, or other. It’s hard to stay motivated when you aren’t seeing that anyone cares.
So, although this is a pitiful plea, please comment if you’d been anxiously (or even sort of kind of) awaiting my next post – so that I know that someone cares.
observing: a wider viewpoint
It’s New Year’s Day. TheMAN and me took a trip over the hill to the ocean. It was quiet when we arrived, perfect for just sitting in the beachfront coffee house sipping our drinks, reflecting on the year gone by and, for me anyway, trying not to set my focus on too many expectations of the year ahead. I look around and just observe – taking it all in without trying to change or judge what is before me. I do this with me eyes and, later, do this with my lens.
Today I have my FujiFilm x100s, compact, retro-styled, fixed lens digital camera in hand. I’ve named him (the camera) “Xabiere”, as I name most of my devices. The name means “chosen one” and, on this first day of 2014, indeed he is.
Xabiere’s fixed (23mm F2) lens is limiting in some respects as I cannot zoom in on far away objects. However, its compact body means that this powerful camera will be with me more often than not. I cannot say the same of my much heavier, Nikon (which I still love). However, I am finding that not being able to zoom offers an opportunity to take a wider view of my surroundings before honing in on a single object, perhaps walking in for a closer vantage point, or simply composing my photo within these new confines. This change in focus invites a opening to view a whole new world where I might see things as I have never seen before. It’s kind of cool; I just need to get to know my new friend a little better.