I know you may have read my last post and wondered what happened to my year end review. Surely that little bit was NOT it. Well, in the event that you were disappointed with the brevity of it, here is the comprehensive post you’re used to reading year after year…
right words
My favorite yoga instructor ends her classes with a little prayer, or request of sorts, for right thoughts, right words, and right actions. For me, this is reminiscent of a priest’s advising his parishioners to “go in peace,” only a step further than the all too familiar words I’ve heard in church since I was young.
It is the 2nd plea, for right words, I often feel I could use a little help with. For, when I am frustrated, words spew from my mouth that are either harsher than I care to admit or simply are delivered with a harsh tone. Neither is good.
So, while seated beside a frozen body of water in the middle of Yosemite, enjoying the of sunshine, I pray for right words…
May my words improve upon the silence.
Bitch Mode
Since the OS 5 update, myPhone has been having “issues.” At first, these issues were mild. The phone appeared to synch but never actually finished the process through to the end. I hate that. I’m all about follow through and finishing what you’ve started.
I took her to the Apple Store to have the genius’ diagnose and FIX the issue. After upwards of 30 minutes of watching my assigned Genius review chat boards and forums on the issue, try instituting the fix, and failing to resolve the issue, he finally agreed to replace myPhone with a refurbished phone. The following hour was sort of a self-service thing, I watched the newPhone download OS 5, then set up the phone as “new” (rather than from my presumed corrupted backup file). And I took her home.
Over the next day, newPhone continually annoyed me with her antics. She crashed applications, randomly shut down and restarted, and flickered her lights more and more. I was irritated but too busy to hit the Apple Store to complain. I tried restoring and synching — to no avail. Then, last night, she blacked out.
I tried to revive her but nothing seemed to work. She lay flat on her back, hooked up to life support (plugged in) all night long. Then, this morning, I attempted once more to restore her to good health. After TWO unsuccessful attempts, enter “Bitch Mode” — Me, not her. She remains unconscious.
Let’s see what those Genius’ have to say now.
insecurities
Many times throughout my life I have lacked the confidence to face the task at hand in the most secure of fashion. Struggle as I may with the belief that I had less than what was needed to achieve the level of success I was after, I did not let it stop me. At least as far as I can remember.
I may have walked through the door to take my nursing licensure examination with much trepidation and fear, but I did not let that stop me. I sat for my exam and emerged with license in hand. And admittably, it was me who spent a few minutes outside a party worrying that nobody would like me. Yet, moments later, I held my head high and entered to find a little acceptance for myself. It was also me whose worries of being eaten by a shark, or the ocean itself, left me murmuring to myself (in an attempt to still my fears) after the capsizing of a canoe… but I found my composure and paddled further out to sea.
These were just a few of the moments that have transpired though my adult life where certainty was in low supply. I used to let them define me and even how others saw me. Now, however, I think of them as mere stepping stones on a path of personal growth where one challenge leads to another, and another, and another.
When these moments arise, if you happen to hear my verbalize my insecurity, please put that moment out of your mind. I want you to remember not the moment of weakness, but the moment of strength – where turn uncertainty into confidence. I’ll do the same for you.
How you play the game
It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game. — Unknown
YaYa’s football league stepped it up this year. Moving up to Division 1, has meant our boys have had to work harder than ever to take the wins. With fiercer teams as opponents, the boys have put in their share of blood, sweat, and (when no one is looking) possibly a few tears in practice and on the playing fields.
After today’s game, many of the boys walked off the field with defeat written all over their faces. A few of the parents had the same look. I wished I could change it for them. Not so much the outcome. It was what it was and they gave it a good hard fight right to the bitter end. They even scored in the final 5 seconds.
They all winners in my book, for they played well…in spite of a few questionable off-sides oversights. Okay, maybe more than a few. Honestly, even though I’m staring at the game, I don’t catch on to such things as off-sides and such. Every tackle looks like a personal foul to me — because, in life, people just shouldn’t be hitting each other. But that’s just football…and me.
There is one thing I do know. Those boys should hold their heads high and walk proudly, for they played well against another tough opponent. They may not have won the game, but they are still winners to me.