Round, like a circle in a spiral. Like a wheel within a wheel. Never ending or beginning, On an ever spinning wheel. — Alan and Marilyn Bergman
This morning, I stayed in bed a bit longer than needed. Wide awake, I just lay there: motionless and contemplating the many thoughts whirling through the windmills of my mind.
Like everyone, I can have a bad day even without any good reason. This week, in spite of my efforts to stay positive, I’ve found myself in a world of hurt often. It seems that ANY reason pulls me into a downward turn. I am trying not to give into it — really I am. But the forces of gravity are strong.
Sadness and loneliness have dropped in on me in much the same way as friends passing through town might drop in for a visit. For reasons as subtle as the change of the seasons, or as obvious as our wedding anniversary, my visitors’ arrival always makes perfect sense. Only after my visitors have arrived do I look at the calendar to see that I should have been prepared — they were always coming.
Tears find their way into my eyes at any moment. It just happens. I can now accept that. I think they call this “life” …or something like that.
Yes it is…
When I run a very long ultra I know that the day will be filled with ups and downs, I know they will occur, I just don’t know when. Like the unexpected arrival of friends or sadness we have to deal with whatever comes. It’s okay to feel bad during a race or to shed tears when sadness arrives at the door. Like in a race this feeling will soon pass and we will find ourselves feeling better and getting on with the race or life.