a day at the beach

It’s been 10 years since Tom’s ashes were scattered here. The spot unfamiliar to me but very special to him as it was where his newborn’s ashes were scattered more than 20 years earlier. Believe it or not, this is the first time I have been back here. I just couldn’t manage to make it happen until now.

We couldn’t have asks for a lovelier day. DD just happened to be in from New York for his [birth] mom’s birthday. I cut the first rose of spring from the garden to toss out to sea  as we did when we sent his ashes out.  An offering, of sorts.

But the day wasn’t really about grieving. It fell into a day of just being us. We found a quiet spot off to the side near the overpass and threw the ball into water for the dog for a while.  Then the boys played a game of baseball and mocked each other as brothers do.

And right before we left, we walked over to the ocean where I tossed the rose in and watched it get taken away. Today, unlike 10 years ago, the rose only had to be tossed once before it was off on it’s journey. I was a little sad to see it go so easily, but after a bit, I felt a teeny bit of peacefulness fill a little bit more of the empty space that was left in my heart the day he died.