Final exams are now behind us and YaYa’s gown now hangs in the spare bedroom awaiting the big day. It’s been a long journey up to this juncture in his education filled with angst and drama, struggle and lost sleep. More times than I can count, I have questioned my choice to move him to such a challenging academic environment, wondering if the bar was set too high for him. Today, like at the end of each of the past few years, I am filled with pride in him for his dedication to find his way. I know it will serve his future years well.
Still, I find myself repeating to myself “it’s only middle school.” Until now, I thought this was so that I didn’t make such a big deal of it that I’d have nothing left for high school graduation and college. But that’s not it at all. I now realize my reminding myself that this is only middle school graduation is my way of reassuring myself that he’s not leaving me empty-nested just yet.
We’ve been together, just he and I, almost since the day Tom died: supporting, comforting, and sometimes arguing. And although I would be happy to leave the stress of getting him to where-he-needs-to-be behind, I am not ready to let go of the where-we-are-right-now.
So, I embrace this moment and cherish the moments where I get to embrace my boy who is growing up way too fast. This is only “middle school” graduation. There are still four more years ahead of us.
Congrats, enjoy the day!