In my prior life, I found time to meditate for 30 minutes to an hour each day. Each session left me reveling in its magic. Two kids and many years later, it’s a whole different story.
These days there is nothing less therapeutic than my person meditations. Whether the goal is simply to sit and breath, an active visualization, or some other variation, my efforts are met with resistance. I sit down, find alignment in my spine, and close my eyes. And that is when it happens.
Either I am overwhelmed with a rush of thoughts, problems to solve, and inadequacies (my monkey mind swinging limb to limb), my body becomes excessively irritable and fidgety, or I go unconscious. I ponder the question: Where did all the magic go?
The other day, I was actually writing a blog post during the meditation. You bloggers know what I’m talking about. The first thought comes as simply as: I should blog about this. Next thing you know, you’re writing the entire post in your head. In my case, during the meditation!
I don’t want to be judgmental about my meditations but… it is clear to me that this is NOT GOOD.
So, the other day I decided I would do nothing but try to reclaim the center of my head from the monkey. I closed my eyes, settled my body, and started by locating that spot in the center of my head — just behind my eyes. I found a seat: the driver’s seat so to speak. I looked around me. The room was empty. I guess my little monkey decided to give me a break and play in the trees for a bit. It was Earth Day after all. And this allowed me to get comfortable in my own head for a bit. It’s been a long time. Too long.
I sat in the driver’s seat and enjoyed the quiet. It was a peacefulness I haven’t enjoyed for quite some time. It felt good. Magical even. I decided that I would keep it simple and just meditate on that.