Archives for April 17, 2009
Analyze this
Following a deep discussion on lingering fears about loss of loved ones, I hung up the phone and fell off to sleep.
I am in the ICU, sitting on the toilet of all places, when a code begins. Suddenly, I am in the midst of chaos — needles flying, and glass falling . I try to leave, when a needle stick occurs to my right ankle. I begin feeling woozy and the scene changes…
In the next scene, I am at the beach with YaYa enjoying the calm effect the ocean has on me. YaYa asks to go swimming and I agree, reminding him to not go out too far. On this day, he walks out very far — farther than he ever would — as if drawn by a greater force. From the shore, I call to him asking him to come back in towards shore. I hear a woman gasp behind me, calling out “Oh NO! Watch out!” A sheet of blackness falls like a curtain, leaving me in total blackness.
I can hear YaYa screaming for me. His voice comes from far out in the water and off to my right. He’s beginning to panic. “Mom! MOM! Where ARE you?” I call back, “YaYa!” and move toward his voice. I AM panicking too.
As YaYa’s voice falls silent, I am overwhelmed with fear. I hear a man’s voice assuring me, “I’ve got him.” Thank God, I think. Then, the curtain of blackness rises. I watch a man carries my son in his arms, completely UNDERWATER, and walking effortlessly toward the shore. The distance is endless — impossible for any human to survive. Yet, moments later, they emerge from the depths of the ocean, and YaYa is delivered to my arms. He opens his eyes immediately and gives me a big hug. He is completely fine. I cannot thank the man enough but his manner is one of no-big-deal, like it’s something he does everyday.
I woke from my dream to find YaYa sleeping peacefully beside me. The clock displayed the time; it was 1:08 am, only 20 minutes after I had hung up the phone with W.