I’m sitting in bed listening to Lucky quietly snoring and enjoying a little peace and quiet. Last night, was very different from tonight. Last night, YaYa asked me about Santa in the most direct way possible. There was no way to get out of it gracefully without lying.
Before I answered, I warned him that he might be disappointed to loose this part of the Christmas magic. That should have been enough of an answer right there but he insisted that he wanted to know the truth. I stalled, making him ask one more time, which he did in with the same clarity.
At the moment he asked, he was so grown up. But the moment he received the answer, he was a little boy whose dreams had been destroyed. He cried. Then, as if to prove me wrong, he began challenging me with a whole other set of questions.
- Who ate the cookies?
- What about the carrots?
- Who put the chunks of crumbs in the milk?
- What about the tags on the presents?
- Tracking Santa online?
All of the elaborate measures that had grown over the years as BoBo and DD got more involved in creating the magic where on the line. YaYa was horrified to have it all be a lie.
I was horrified to have my son asking about Santa in the month of March — especially when my son gets so distraught that he is still awake at midnight. Before he finally fell off to sleep, YaYa asked if we could keep some of the traditions like baking the cookies just for the fun of it. Of course I agreed.
I think sometimes that it is the loss of traditions that is the scariest part. I remember my mom assuring us that Santa Claus was still going to come every year no matter what because he was really “the Christmas Spirit” and *that* was definitely real. It made the loss of that little piece of childhood just a littler easier to cope with.
Very sad isn’t it? My son asked about the Easter bunny first, and then quickly jumped to Santa Claus. I told him that it was a game that the adults played with children, and now that he knew the secret, he was part of the game and had to keep the the secret safe too.
I know he was disappointed to learn the truth, but still was happy to have secret grownup knowledge.
Second story. My son asked once how Santa delivered stuff to houses. I told him about the flying reindeer. He just laughed and said “Nooooo, that’s silly.” He was perfectly cool with the notion of a stranger sneaking down your chimney with free toys, but flying reindeer was just crazy. :D
I blew it when the girls were in middle school and I accidentally asked my husband if he had the receipt for a Santa gift that wasn’t working properly. By then, they both kinda knew but wanted confirmation. So I told them Santa exists as long as you believe in his magic and gave them “that look.” He still comes to the house — and they are now in their 20s. They know he’ll stop leaving gifts for them when they are truly on their own. Until then, it’s nice to keep the tradition of cookies going.
When I first began writing this post, I had searched my blog for all of the past times when the question had come out in one form or another. It was fun to look back. I only wish that I’d written about it when I first started blogging in December 2005 — I was stuck on the fact that this was a “running blog.” If you’re curious, do a search on “Santa” in the search this blog box.
poor YaYa, growing up can be hard…..
This happened with my middle (sensitive) boy, but it was with the tooth fairy question. He cried for half an hour after he got the answer. I think it was less the answer and more that he truly felt we had lied to him, and that hurt him. I was so unprepared for this; I always thought they just figure it out and then play along so they still keep getting the “goods”. Good thing we do Hanukkah; I’m not sure he (or I) could have managed the Santa Claus and Easter bunny “revelations” too.
Aw….. at least he found out because he wanted to know. My youngest found the wrapping paper that Santa uses and I just blurted out “you don’t believe in Santa, do you?” and she burst into tears. Such a very bad mother I am. She somehow transcended that experience but it was heartbreaking at the time.
We still have santa–and my kid is 22. I refused to ever confirm the rumors!
I am laughing at Jeanne comment. I was really upset to learn the truth myself but it’s really not about Santa as much as what you make Christmas and the traditions to be. I still love that my dad writes from Santa on all the tags.
Some good answers in these comments – I especially like where the child joins the tradition for the younger ones. That’s exactly what your older boys did, and they did it out of love for their little brother. Santa still visits our house too, and always will.